Day 151 – Peddler of Hope
31 May 2021
Peddler of Hope Context
After 20 years the lotto lady retires from her indefatigable effort as our peddler of hope. If only she was able to provide us with more.
Today marks the day when the lotto lady at work retires. Lotto lady, aka Peddler of Hope, has tirelessly worked for her colleagues week-in and week-out, religiously collecting funds, going to the newsagent and placing our entries into the lucky dip of pooled money. On reflection, it’s been about 20 years of her doing this, always wishing us luck and asking us to cross our fingers.
Hmmm. The calculations on the amount of money the lotto lady collected from me at five dollars a week for 20 years equals about $5,200 – give or take a week. It’s a decent amount of money. Was it worth it? After all, I’m still working! The early retirement plan hasn’t quite worked out for any of the participants.
Now, somewhere I read (sorry, I couldn’t find where), giving money to the lotto is an affirmation reinforcing that you are poor. In a way, I guess that’s true; otherwise, you wouldn’t be putting money into a lotto syndicate in the first place. Guess that’s about to change since I will be gaining $5 per week from today onward.
Reasons to give to the Peddler of Hope
Yes, you could argue that I’m not lacking, which I’m not. The absence of five dollars a week, to me these days, is barely noticeable. So, why do I do it? All these years, a charity could have been receiving the same money from me. However, part of the reason was I got to see and catch up with a woman I liked once a month when I dropped off my funds. It was an opportunity to converse on her health, kids, work gossip, and how her retirement plans were going (well, the latter more recently).
Also, you may have noticed me referring to her as the Peddler of Hope; this is because perhaps one day I might discover that I have enough money to buy in the area we want to live in and live in the way we want to live. At the very least, in the way we imagine living in the area. There are also some aspirations I have regarding how I would like to spend excess money.
Now that my peddler of hope has retired, I will miss her, and my very best wishes go with her for a beautiful future full of health and happiness.
Peddler of Hope & Personal Guilt
For many years, guilt was my companion. The guilt was around me earning a good wage. I would often sabotage myself from better positions believing that being poor made me richer in spirit and heart. It’s that age-old dichotomy or false competition to have one means you can’t have the other. The sabotage played itself out as bitterness toward other people’s successes, and confelicity was difficult to muster.
Perhaps others feel similarly, especially those who enter the syndicate to win a big prize, believing that only the lucky get to have both. Personally, I think we all deserve happiness and riches because you can be rich and have enjoyment. Movies don’t usually show joy and rich because it doesn’t make for good storytelling.
When I resolved that you can have both, parts of my life changed. There are still moments of bitterness or resentfulness when I haven’t gotten a job (not all resolved yet). Then I went to see a kinesiologist to find out mentally where I might begin to determine whatever ailment I had at the time.
Thoughts on Kinesiology
Usually, I visit Wikipedia for general perspectives, but the thoughts on applied kinesiology “factualised”, invalidating the therapy. However, my experience didn’t align. After all, I did not seek out chiropractic or diagnostic help for any ailment, although there was a condition. My kinesiology visits had been on a more psychological-spiritual bent.
Because I believe the body reflects our mental and spiritual well-being, or at the very least, it provides clues to what might be going on in your head. So, if I have a body part playing up but not worthy, to my mind, of a doctor’s attention, I visit a kinesiologist. Let’s put it this way: my GP and I agree; I will first go to her with a plan of attack; she performs her assessment, then we agree, modify or do otherwise.
Rather than Wikipedia, part of the Victorian Government’s Better Health’s description is: “a kinesiology is a form of therapy that uses muscle monitoring (biofeedback) to look at imbalances that may be causing disease in the body.”. It further clarifies that kinesiology does not diagnose disorders. Happy with that!
My reason for visiting a kinesiologist is that I’m unable or unwilling to look at an issue during meditation or self-reflection. A good kinesiologist is a gentler psychologist. What I mean is before going to a psychologist, I try a kinesiologist. It’s kind of using the right tool for the right job approach. Using a psychologist is like buying an industrial strength cordless screwdriver from a specialist trade store to put together a piece of easy flat-pack furniture when a home-style screwdriver from the local hardware store would do the job.
Oops! Got carried away with that one; I hope it was helpful 😁.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carryover Cards
No cards carried over from yesterday today.
Cross
The Miser is in the Now influenced by Patience. Could this be me feeling possessive of the five dollars I gave to the lotto and am planning to put toward a charity?
Letting Go is in the Goal position and means I’m sad to see the lotto lady leave. That’s a chapter in my life disappearing. In the Distant Past is Existence, where recognising your uniqueness is all you need to understand.
Recent Past’s Sharing card leads to a Future Energy of Understanding.
Base
My Feelings on The Miser card shows up in the card of The Fool. My initial reaction to the two cards is that I would be a fool to get miserly over the five dollars, although I’m not one hundred per cent sure this is the interpretation I would die by.
Others’ Views is the card of Thunderbolt. Thunderbolt is a dramatic physical change; perhaps it’s the 20-year routine changing and being noticed.
Hopes & Fears has the card of Courage. On the inside, I’m hoping I have Courage to move forward in my way without having someone do the running around for my “hope”. My fear is freezing in indecision or not having the Courage to pursue a path with consciousness – fundamentally, just ignoring it.
The Outcome position has Flowering, which is about embracing who I am and blossoming. Flowering echoes the Sharing card sitting in Recent Past, and Flowering is what needs to happen before you can share.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Kinesiology, Better Health, Victorian State Government, Australia, Published Online
Word Definition:
Confelicity: joy in another person’s happiness. Susie Dent, Twitter feed, 13 Mar 2021
End Day 151
Day 150 – Video Stress
30 May 2021
Zoom Context
My husband catches up with a Victorian in lockdown using video. There’s an expectation for me to join, but I hate doing my hair on Sundays.
From most Australian’s perspective, covid-19 has been a nuisance but not detrimental. The devastation which has occurred around the world, particularly in India, is shocking. For Australia, at least, it’s like being inside while there’s a blizzard outside. Sure, we get bouts of the chill air when we open the door, but we’re safe for the most part. When the state of Victoria went into lockdown, it reminded Australians of the grim reality that it is indeed “cold” outside our doors. Victoria zoomed to close its doors and began contact tracing.
Communication during this time is essential between people. My husband’s friend Vicki (not her real name) lives in the state of Victoria and is old enough to be his mother. The extensive lockdown of 111 days was hard for many Victorians and Vicki among them.
Since the “long lockdown”, the state has been operating effectively. Residents coming home from overseas are always going to introduce the risk of the virus spreading. Technology alleviated the lack of human contact in the lockdown circumstances, or at least for those that embraced it as a substitute for human physical contact.
Zoom was the platform of choice for our video contact with Vicki today. It’s incredible what a difference it makes to have Vicki connect with close friends visually. Vicki always likes to look fantastic and enjoys the process of getting ready to engage with the world (makeup and lovely clothes). Video allows Vicki to continue with her makeup and clothes routine.
Video Conferencing
Before COVID, a phone conversation without visuals was quite the norm, as well as lengthy discussions. However, the longer a lockdown persists, the greater the need for sighted people and especially older people, to connect visually virtually, as indicated in Hajek (2021).
I dislike video conferencing because the pressure to “change what I look like” feels stronger. It also means the screen gets my undivided attention. For instance, if I am on the phone with my mother, I can play a jigsaw puzzle while conveying her story.
A jigsaw doesn’t take much of my attention away from my mother’s conversation, but it keeps me focussed on the exchange. When my mother, or others, go into a story-telling mode, they tend to look into the distance to recall the details better anyway.
Images of myself and/ or my mother can distract me when video conferencing. When this same conversation happens in a face-to-face situation, the recall still occurs but ever so briefly. The need to look off into the distance is more infrequent; at the very least, eye contact seems more frequent.
Video and Sense of Smell
I’m typically not as sensitive to smell as others in my friends and family community, for the record. My sense of smell is there; I’m just not as receptive to its subtleties unless I make myself tune into the scent. It’s like selected deafness but with a sense of smell. The smell must be bad for me to verbally acknowledge it as either “oh pfhoo” or “wow”. Seriously, unless breaking wind produces a foul odour, it won’t bother me; even then, it’s not a bother.
If our connection to the world hinges on a sense of smell, subtle though it is when we mingle with others? Essential to our memory and ability to recall information, even when we’re unaware of its import in our daily lives (Sarafoleanu, 2009).
What I’m trying to say are people less likely to get depressed if there’s a sense of smell from fellow human beings? Since video chatting and regular technological socialising, depression is still prevalent. Could the difference be scent?
Anyway, that was me just idea-slinging. When I found a bottle of Australian Bush Flower Essence with the “Calm and Clear” smell, the idea came to me. After applying the face gel, the scent transported me to paradise – figuratively speaking. 😇
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carryover Cards
Two cards carried over from yesterday; Moment to Moment moved from Recent Past to the Now, and Laziness moved from Outcome to the Goal. Did I not wish for Laziness to be a goal yesterday? Gotta be a-careful with the wishin’.
Cross
Being in the moment prompted the Moment to Moment card in the Now. Postponement is in the influencer position, suggesting I’m ignoring or delaying activities on my to-do list. Most likely, participating in the video chat. Did I mention I don’t like them?
Oh, look! It’s the Laziness card in the Goal position. Sundays are a day I strive for Laziness; when you have a video chat, Laziness goes out the window. It’s also a carryover from yesterday, but I think this is more the universe giving me what I wished 😁.
Sorrow is in the Distant Past. If today was all about the video conference (there wasn’t much else on). In the past, I’ve often – like many – judged myself unfavourably in video chats; Sorrow could stem from there. The judgement would have been me of myself.
Ordinariness in the Recent Past is about paying attention to everyday things, and perhaps the Ordinariness of the day changes with a change in routine.
Future Energy has Breakthrough. Looking back, I did have a Breakthrough on the video front; I’m okay as long as I resign myself to the interaction. The resignation is not something I’ve recognised in myself before, so this is a helpful thing.
Base
There you go, Comparison is in the Feelings position. The Comparison card in the Osho Zen deck advises that comparison is silly because it’s like comparing which is better between an oak or a bamboo tree. Both trees are helpful and have different purposes, although some of the uses overlap. Both provide shade, help build things, but the climates in which they’re grown vary.
Others’ Views, in this case, Vicki’s view, I am probably seen as The Outsider. Vicki has known Mark all his life and only me in his later years. The connection is civil and amicable, and if I changed myself, I would be accepted more easily. However, Vicki would be devastated if I changed myself for her.
Hopes & Fears has the card of Stress. My fear is the Stress of the video-conferencing situation, and I hope the video conferencing doesn’t work to remove the stress 😏.
Finally, the Outcome position has Aloneness. The result of the video conference is me feeling alone in my response. It’ll pass.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
2020, Covid in Australia: Melbourne to exit 112-day lockdown, BBC, Published Online
Faf Y., 2021, How can technology help people overcome the covid-19 pandemic?, Startups Magazine, Published Online
Gabbiadini A., Baldissarri C. Durante F., et al., 2020, Together Apart: The Mitigating Role of Digital Communication Technologies on Negative effect During the COVID-19 Outbreak in Italy, Published Online
Cheng A., 4 Statistics that show the True impact of video conferencing, RingCentral, Published Online
Hajek A.· König H.-H. 2021, Social Isolation and Loneliness of Older Adults in Times of the COVID-19 Pandemic: Can Use of Online Social Media Sites and Video Chats Assist in Mitigating Social Isolation and Loneliness?, Karger Online, Last viewed 4 Jun 2021
Sarafoleanu C, 2009, The importance of the olfactory sense in the human behavior and evolution, J Med Life Published online
End Day 150
Day 149 – Scarcity Utilisation in Real Estate
29 May 2021
Scarcity Context
Today, we visited an open house suggested by our real estate. The tactic at present is to encourage the feeling of scarcity.
There were a couple of things on the to-do list today. First was visiting the house the real estate agent recommended; the visit was around lunchtime. The current sell strategy used by real estate agents is to build the volume of people going through to create a “panic buy” environment. It was used for rentals to “encourage” renters to pay more.
Some real estate agents are all about good sales, but one of the strategies is to have “no private inspections before the first open house.”. By constraining viewing times and not advertising a price, and waiting for offers, triggers the scarcity mentality, and people will pay more for a house or buy a home even if they are unsure of the purchase. So, buyers, beware.
Guess all is fair in love and real estate. Just imagine the saying could be “in real estate and war”. Actually, it doesn’t matter either way isn’t good. The scarcity mentality is helpful for individuals competing and striving to win a medal, but encouraging purchases in real estate seems wrong. In any case, being aware of the tactic goes some way toward reducing the temptation. The other things that work are not having to move or need a place to live.
The property was too big for us and didn’t click with us. Again, the approach is the right property will come to us. There’s no rush. Secretly, pleased the house wasn’t the one. Moving is a big decision, and it’s the beginning. There may never be a righter place than the one we’re in now. Visiting the open house made me realise how much I enjoy our home.
Scarcity of Macaron Success
Another area of scarcity is my success with macarons. After having no success last weekend and previously only ever having failed once before this week, the macarons need reattempting. I got further than last week, but I broke the egg mixture, and the macarons flopped in the oven. We did end up with a lot of “almost” macaron shells, which I’m sure we’ll munch on over the week.
Now onto the cards!
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carryover Cards
One card carried over from yesterday; Integration was in the Distant Past and remained in the Distant Past.
Cross
Celebration is in the Now influenced by Thunderbolt. Okay, I’m going to see the Celebration of having the courage to move out of our comfort zone. Thunderbolt is the card that tells you some physical change is afoot. By the card being in the influencer position, Thunderbolt is simply saying it’s the act of looking for a home, not moving yet.
The Goal card is Slowing Down, which is what I’m hoping will happen.
Integration sits in the Distant Past and hasn’t moved from yesterday (Day 148). All that means is the same situation in the past contributed to today’s Celebration as it did to yesterday’s Ripeness. It kind of makes sense if part of the reason we’re looking to move is from the tension around the cats, and yesterday’s blog was indeed about our cats.
In the Recent Past, presumably around inspection time, was us taking things from Moment to Moment. Not having expectations one way or the other of the real estate visit and not being drawn into the scarcity environment.
The Future Energy position has The Source card. Taking the time to work out what we want, and perhaps it means looking at what we will and won’t accept in a future home.
Base
My Feelings are those of The Rebel. The Rebel is not behaving in the way expected unless it’s what you want to do. More simply, it’s “just because you are moving in the same direction as the sheep doesn’t make you a sheep.”. You see very few, if any, animals running toward a bush fire. Those running away from the fire are not all the same animal.
Others’ Views is the card of Friendliness. It’s a good thing for this reading for this card to appear in this spot. The real estate agent we seem to have attracted is pleasant, and we are on friendly terms. On the upside, she’s not pushy either – there appears to be plenty of work available for her. The availability of work means she’s not operating on scarcity and can leave the universe time to work for us. Hmmm. Maybe that is the universe working for us 🧐
Hopes & Fears position sees the Patience card reflecting the same idea of hoping things move slowly, echoing the Slowing Down card in the Goal position. Not so much “slowly” as waiting – there is a difference. The trick with waiting is you’re not always sure something is happening, which is the fear aspect of Patience.
Laziness is in the Outcome position. Perhaps the card is a warning not to rely too much on Patience and Slowing Down and using these terms to disguise being lazy. Augh! That’s not fair! I like lazy. Maybe I should make being lazy a goal – how easy would it be to reach? 😇
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 149
Day 148 – Catty Community
28 May 2021
Catty Context
It was a beautiful sunny day, and I wanted to see where Dobby was hanging out. Cats not being herd animals still seem to be “social” or at the very least “nosy”. Oh, look! It’s that curiosity thing cats get labelled with all the time. Are our felines mixing it up in a catty community? The cats couldn’t be doing the female dog thing of “bitchin'”, so it must be catty.
The stroll was incredibly serene; there was a light breeze, and the soft autumn sun was on my face as I tracked kitty-cat number two via the Apple Airtag. The Airtag follows non-moving items; after all, that’s its design. Cats (and dogs), in case you hadn’t noticed, are sometimes moving objects. 🙂 However, it’s enough to identify the approximate location of said “object”. That is, did Dobby go left or right from our place.
We had tried putting another Bluetooth tracker on them similar to the one listed in references in the past. The tracking device had a red, amber, and green light range, indicating you were either getting warmer or cooler depending on how near your pet you were. On the cat, the device dangled, and while our cats are of the big domestic housecat variety (6.9kg/ 15lb and 5.8kg/ 12lb kg), the collar with the trackers quickly became “lost”.
The lost collar was a concern when we purchased the Airtags. The good thing about the Airtag is its area is easily identified and doesn’t rely on walking a 100m (328 feet) radius to find the missing collar and tag. While researching pictures of hanging tags or pet tags, there was one that looked good – I wish I’d seen that one earlier!
Catty Community
When I finally reached the area where Dobby was hiding, Jennifer, a local, enjoyed the sunshine out with her two six-month-old kittens. While the kittens were out exploring, Jennifer kept a watchful eye. The two kittens were so adorable you want just to cuddle them! I want to do this with most animals, usually dogs since they’re most likely to be about on my walks. Dobby kept clear at a safe distance of his catty felines, despite visiting to be near them 🤔.
At that moment, Jan (not real name), another local, appeared from a neighbouring house, waiting for her Uber. We three conversed and discovered Jan has an older cat named Max. Max sticks to the letterbox and its surroundings, and it made me feel less alone regarding cats. It was a lovely conversation in the afternoon. Jan mentioned that Valentine was always up there looking for a fight. He must be good since he doesn’t come home with scratches. Maybe Valentine had one or two scratches this year. It saddens me if it’s true.
The subject arose, and I mentioned I’d used the Apple Airtag to track the cats’ basic whereabouts – “what a good idea”, they cried. Max’s owner asked how we kept the collar on; simple. Just keep a stash of collars on hand, so when initially the cats ditch them thinking they’re free of them, you simply grab another one and put it on.
We chatted amiably and tried not to get too catty when it came to council issues. The sun had moved, and it was cooler now. Jenny grabbed her kittens, Jen grabbed Max, and I captured Dobby, and we all went our separate ways, feeling I hope better for the interaction with fellow beings who have shared love.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carryover Cards
One card carried over from yesterday; Guilt moved from Hopes & Fears to the Outcome position.
Cross
Ripeness is in the Now influenced by Existence. Awareness breaks into the Goal position, and Integration is in the Distant Past.
The card of Silence in the Recent Past echoes the Existence card meaning Silence has made way for Existence and created the right circumstances for the cat owners, aka the catty community, to meet. Future Energy has The Fool meaning, and I came away with happy thoughts, where that will lead no one knows as yet.
Base
My need to Control in the Immediate Future position encouraged me to wonder where Dobby had been. It was the right time (Ripeness) for the situation to manifest.
Others’ Views is of No-thingness or potential. Is this the potential for an aloof but supportive catty community? Who knows?
My Hopes & Fears has the card of Guidance. I hope I was guided to the meeting for the friendliness and fear that it was a “chance” encounter of little ongoing significance – guess we’ll find out!
Here Guilt is as an Outcome card. Well, I feel sort of guilty now talking about the Apple Airtag and cat tracks. Sometimes Guilt plays a role most stupidly, particularly in situations where logic dictates its silliness.
Still, when I “repurpose” something, I am aware a gadget designed to hold outdoor furniture together is not a taco holder. And while I would use the device this way around because it’s sturdier than it needs to be to hold a taco, I wouldn’t use a taco holder to keep outdoor furniture together 🙂.
Not knowing the people I impart knowledge to can make me feel guilty. Not that, on reflection, this would cause any harm – to my way of thinking. But I can be a fool at times.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Pet Smart GPS Tracker (hanging version)
- Cat GPS tracker locator device for pets (integrates with a collar)
Airtag on 5.6 kilogram cat
Airtag on 6.8 kilogram cat
End Day 148
Day 147 – A Day at the Hairdresser
27 May 2021
Hairdresser Context
Going to the hairdresser is great until you realise you had forgotten you booked in for something different today. And different it was!
Even though I slept well, I was still feeling tired and irritable. Once again, I had plans for a big productive day, and with a good chunk allocated to me. You see, it was hairdresser day! Woohoo! Love hairdresser day. While the colour is in my hair, colourin’, I can sit and relax while the hairdresser is busy with other customers. This “free” space leaves me time to get writing or learning or simply whatever. It’s pure bliss! It’s just like waiting for an aeroplane to depart at the airport.
What I had forgotten today was “big” colour day. Several hairdresser visits ago, a comment made by me suggested I wanted to go a “mushroom brown” colour. It’s the shade of the “brown dry shampoo” sprayed onto my darker hair before I’ve worked it into the ends.
At the Hairdresser
I was greeted, as ever, by the lovely Caty, Keely and Chris, who primarily works on the barber’s side but is also a fully trained hairdresser in his right (by the way, not their real names). The change in hair colour is my strategic move to ease me into the greying process. Mushroom would blend in with my natural greying roots and not look like a reverse GT-stripe. It would also accustom others around me to a lighter shade of brown. The aim was to own my age – eventually.
Caty, the Colourist, was very excited because she doesn’t often get the opportunity to play with her colours. It wasn’t the fashion “grey” going around. Since most people, I mentioned the colour to refrained from commenting anything apart from “that’s interesting”, it challenged Caty.
After making the appointment, I promptly forgot all about the conversation. The hairdresser hadn’t. So, today sat at a different chair and discussed what needed to happen, and Caty went to get the price. Luckily for me, I was sitting down! It was double my regular colouring treatment. The change in the chair and the cost had me on the tired back foot.
I could back out of the colour, but you know the saying, “if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten”. The phrase was utterly relevant to today’s hairdresser visit. So, regardless of cost, I progressed with the request.
The colour foils took forever. My free space had gone, and when the colour was left to “percolate” under the sci-fi brain-sucker hair heater, I was too far away from the counter to type. In the end, I sat back and stopped fighting the process.
Hairdresser Swap Out
In addition to the hair treatment, the eyelashes and eyebrows get tinted. In the excitement, this got forgotten. On top of the forgotten hair colour, I was surprised to see Chris, with scissors in hand at the ready, when it came to the cut. Double-take, I said (internally), “what?”. Okay. Something of the internal monologue may have spilt out onto my face because there was a hurried, “are you okay with that?” from Caty. A little belatedly and put on the spot, of course, saying no was going to be awkward.
Without the surprise, I would be okay with any one of the skilled staff cutting my hair. It was a surprise on top of a few other surprises already, and my tiredness didn’t help my response. Since Shelley left, Keely had been my hairdresser. Keely or someone would advise if she had been double-booked or couldn’t do the cut. This simple act of someone letting me know was what was needed. Caty did apologise, although not convinced she understood entirely why.
On the back foot, yet again, I “lashed” out with a comment similar to, ” I finally had gotten Keely to understand the haircut I wanted,” energy drop and mumble. The second the words escaped my mouth, I wanted to bring them back. It wasn’t an accurate or fair comment on either Keely or Chris or the circumstance, for that matter. In one silly statement, I undervalued Keely and Chris’s hairdressing capabilities. At the same time, under-mining Caty’s skills as a salesperson. Argh! 😟
Hairdresser Colours
It’s weird; even with the awareness of me being whiney, I couldn’t prevent the words from escaping from my mouth. My approach was passive-aggressive, which I disliked even more. Why do we sometimes trap ourselves so?
Finally, it was time to unveil the colour. The colour was pretty, but I was unenthused. There was too much change happening to me for me to appreciate the beauty fully. The eyebrows got done but were too dark or my hair too light. Feeling bad for Caty, who was enthusiastic about the colour, I tried to muster the joy I would feel at a future point in time. My ability to tap that far into my future today just wasn’t coming to the party.
To save me from completely being rude and without lying before I knew how I felt about my hair, I desperately searched for any little thing I liked. It turned out to be a slight flick at the bottom hair, the beginnings of an appreciation for the haircut itself. It wasn’t much; once Caty went to get her camera to take a photo, I took a moment to compose myself and look at the colour properly without Caty’s expectations. My hair was different, but it was beautiful, and I couldn’t stop looking at it. When Caty returned said as much to her.
As a final comment, it’s been a long time since a hairdresser has thrown me back into hairdresser “dislike” mode. Today reminded me of the reasons why colouring your hair is beneficial – you’ve got complete control at a much lower price. The next visit will be similar in terms of time and cost; now that I know Chris or Caty will be doing the cut, I’m cool with that.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carryover Cards
Only one card carried over from yesterday; Totality moved from Others’ Views to Feelings or Immediate Future position.
Cross
Intensity is in the Now influenced by Moment to Moment. Intensity equals going your way, and Moment to Moment is the “no longer fighting the process” mentioned in the Hairdresser Context.
The Goal was that of Sharing, and Sharing is about finding generosity of spirit that you can give because you have plenty. An admirable goal, but I think this was a failure for me today – saved a little at the end, maybe (?).
Transformation in the Distant Past indicates when I decided to agree to the change in hair colour.
Recently (Recent Past), the Comparison between old and new colour or perhaps it’s the way communication. It was different from the past. In either case, it was a pointless comparison to make.
The Future Energy card has The Rebel, which echoes and supports the Intensity card. It’s almost the same thing, except The Rebel is unhindered by the usual emotion, physical or guilty constraints. Intensity is the desire to break free, and The Rebel does it without consciously trying to be The Rebel.
Base
Wow! Totality in the Immediate Future or Feelings position is about letting the process play out. Committing to the process is what did happen, albeit begrudgingly end up happening 😇. Moving from yesterday’s Others’ Views might be others seeing me throw myself into the haircut. It’s unlikely since I hadn’t been advertising the change because I’d forgotten it was going to happen.
Others’ Views is The Lovers. It’s comforting for me to see this in this position because it means the hairdresser saw me as cooperative and with constructive feedback. Phew!
In the Hopes & Fears is Guilt. It is unsurprising since it’s how I felt and feared I’d let on during the day when I was undergoing adaptation. The hope was to hide it and not extend it beyond my internal headspace, and the fear conveyed the disapproval it was, which would make me feel Guilt over again.
Finally, the Traveling card represents physical journey in the Outcome position. Today, my husband and I began to talk about a vacation.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 147
Day 146 – Unexpected
26 May 2021
Unexpected Context
We’re starting to think we might move, but to avoid the unexpected, we get prepared. Betty’s birthday prompts a spontaneous action by me.
With the long-term cat-neighbour issue, we’ve been thinking of moving. Of course, there are other factors to the move, like increasing lifestyle benefits. There are a lot of things to consider when moving. A couple of items on the to-do list are: check what you’re able to borrow and how much you’ll get for your current property.
Unexpected Difference of Opinion
A quick call to our broker confirmed we were okay with the intended price range. We then range the real estate agent. We’d bumped into her when I sent an inquiry about a house we saw for sale, which we loved. Part of the real estate tools of the trade is to offer a free evaluation of your property and what it might fetch on the market.
It was challenging to set up a mutually beneficial time, but we had, and here we were three weeks down the track. Needless to say, there had been a burst of scurryfunge before the real estate agent arrived at the front door. In truth, ever since I’d made the appointment three weeks ago, I had begun to stress, and for one reason or another, the spotless clean I wanted to occur hadn’t happened.
My husband, on the other hand, while helpful when asked to help out, remained non-plussed. He didn’t understand the reasons for the scurryfunge usually reserved for visitors such as his mother. From my perspective, it was a case of “you only get one opportunity to make a first impression” and was stressing me a little. Even if we hold all the cards now since we’re not in a hurry to move and have decided to have the right place or circumstances find us. At least, if I asked him to help, he did it straight away – not a hindrance then. 😉 He got it!
Asking for the Unexpected
Ideally, we would build on a block of land with enough money to not impact lifestyle or retirement plans. While that likelihood is just about non-existent, it doesn’t hurt to put it out to the universe to “see what happens”. To be clear, the area we’re hoping to get into has some beautiful homes that wealthy people have renovated. Alternatively, the established housing area previously “out in the sticks” (a long way from the city) has older homes owned by people who had always been there and aren’t wealthy enough to renovate.
Previously in my life, I had made sweeping statements like the one above about us not moving into an area. When my husband suggested we move to a particular suburb, I indicated it as being off-limits. He said, let’s just have a look. My response to him was akin to, “no way, José! We can’t afford to move there. These homes have pools encroaching into their living rooms – and not the natural weather phenomenon kind!”. Right after those words, I smiled lovingly and condescendingly at his unfamiliarity with Brisbane. You guessed it; we moved there.
That was renting; this is different. We have driven the area, and there are very few available plots of land. Even if we could afford the property, we probably couldn’t afford to build the house we wanted – especially in the current market. The same goes for buying a place that’s ideal or something we would need to renovate majorly.
Back to the visit, the beautiful real estate agent visited and liked the place. Then she gave us an approximate estimate better than anticipated; it was totally unexpected!
Other Unexpected Activity
Back in January, Betty – a friend of 30+ years – and I had a falling out (Day 013). Today was Betty’s birthday. Unexpected even to myself, I decided to send Betty’s husband a text message to pass on my/ our birthday wishes if Betty was receptive to them. If Betty wasn’t, then that was okay too, just let me know, and I will step back from their lives. This step-back is because I don’t want to be in someone’s life if they don’t want me. It would only make both our lives miserable.
I sent the message in the morning. The response came late in the day, and it was one from Betty’s husband advising that Betty thanked us for her wishes, and they would stay in touch. It’s a glimmer of hope.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carryover Cards
No cards carried over from yesterday.
Cross
The Burden is in the Now influenced by Understanding. Today’s Burden is a clean house, and the Understanding is me recognising the importance of a first impression. Friendliness is in the Goal position and was my goal for the day in all aspects of my life. The real estate agent and I did have friendly banter and connected.
Both unexpected events result from a Change in the Distant Past. With Betty, it was Day 013‘s event. Moving house was probably from the moment we decided to build our home. You see, we had a plan to build and move within a year, but we had good neighbours, and like family, you can’t pick them. If you get good neighbours and you get along with them, even better!
In the Recent Past is Postponement. Perhaps it was the Postponement of the visit by the real estate and my contact with Betty. To escape the pitfall of Postponement and The Burden the Future Energy is about listening and staying true to my Inner Voice.
Base
The Immediate Future/ Feelings position has Awareness that can bloom from listening to my Inner Voice. Awareness is the glimmer of an idea that has been sitting in the back of your mind, elusively avoiding identification. By listening to Inner Voice, it becomes more apparent.
Others’ Views has the card of Totality which conveys others view me as totally committed to making a move happen, and at some point, we’re going to have to decide. This view is unexpected to me because the relocation is in its embryonic stage.
My Hopes & Fears is that of Exhaustion. If I hope for the move and it happens soon, there will be house packing. House packing is exhausting, and I fear Exhaustion while finding something we like will also be worth it (hope).
The Outcome position is Harmony. Harmony is an echo card because it supports the Future Energy advice of listening to Inner Voice. Harmony follows listening to your Inner Voice; it’s a feeling of peace knowing things are working as they should.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Max Real Estate, Things to do before buying a house
Dent, Susie 2021, Scurryfunge: to frantically attempt to tidy up before visitors arrive (18 May 2021), Twitter feed.
End Day 146
Day 145 – Donation Dilemma
25 May 2021
Donation Context
Australia’s Biggest Morning Tea fundraiser was today & my first in helping setup, but giving a donation can be tricky.
For many years I had a donation dilemma. Many of you may have experienced the same thing. You hear about the administration costs of organisations but want to get your funds to the right place; that is the cause you’re trying to support. It took me many years before I realised this was an excuse for me not to donate. This reason may not be your reason, of course.
It occurred to me the administration charges are paying someone in Australia, paying a middle person in another country and getting the money to the frontline. That’s three people at least benefiting from my one donation. I began to ask myself: did I want to deprive an Australian working in a non-profit organisation of a proper wage just to get money to someone else?
Donation Funds Go Further
My travel experiences in developing countries also taught me that money has different values in different countries. Not just in a dollar for exchange rate situation, although that is true. But even the value based on the lifestyle of the country’s inhabitants adds a different value to their money.
For instance, in the year I visited Nepal (in the early nineties), I got 33 Nepalese Rupee to the Australian dollar. Think of it this way, that’s $33 local money to one Australian $1. At the time, a week’s Nepalese wages was about AU$24 or Ns792 (Ns = Nepalese Rupee). My wage was about AU$700 or Ns23,100 per week. In two weeks, I would have made a year’s Nepalese’s wage. The conversion rate had me looking like a multi-millionaire each fortnight! The tour group I was with reasoned that’s why many travellers in the 60s sold their return tickets to stay longer.
As you may have worked out, money in a developing nation goes further. For a total of two Australian dollars, I was able to purchase: breakfast and dinner in a fancy restaurant, three t-shirts, lunch at the market, catch two taxis at tourist prices, bangles, snacks, bottled water, visit a temple (free), make a donation of Ns10, and a puzzle book. All the purchased stuff would still cost more, even if it had been AU$66. The fancy breakfast alone would have cost AU$25 or a Nepalese’s full weekly wage.
Something of a Donation
So, money is simply different. If I gave $100 a month to a charity and the organisation used $10 for the Australian employee, $30 for the “doctors, nurses, teachers, without borders” type people to be there. Then sadly, $20 for bribes in the local country or anywhere in between.
That means $40 is still getting to where it needs to go. If the money were going to a country like Nepal in the early 90s and converted at 33 to 1, it would be nearly three weeks’ wages (Ns2,310 or $2,310 local currency). I’d be happy if even a week’s local wages made it there, I would be satisfied. The help staff could purchase a lot for the communities with a week’s local wages.
On the topic of bribes, yes, it shouldn’t happen. But it’s a way of life in some parts of the world. You need to decide whether you want something to get to the people or nothing; if you were to get principled, the needy would get nothing – I eventually opted for something.
Donation to Cancer
For many years I didn’t like the idea of giving money to pharmaceutical companies to do cancer research into drugs that “would keep people alive” while it pretended to look for a “cure”. Cures are bad for pharmaceutical businesses; helping keep people alive, supported and pain-free that’ll work too. I disagreed with the developed wonder drugs being too expensive for the people who help fund the research.
The Australian Cancer Council is not a government-funded organisation. It’s a standard response for people not to trust our government, but our government is the only thing they have any control over. I don’t like them; that’s fine, but we put them into office, and we can vote them out of office if it doesn’t look after all Australian citizens. I’ve got a whole rant on the “role of government”, as I see it somewhere – I’ll drag it out and post it – when I find it.
I believe the government being voted in by its citizens should be looking after those very citizens. That includes those in regional Australia, those who are rich and those who are poor because each contributes to Australia’s function as a whole.
Therefore, cancer research funded by it should result in a product or a cure available to all Australians. If you have an organisation with a raft of contributors, but some are business-minded, then it’s going to be about making money and profits that go to shareholders.
Again, it’s better to give something to research than not have any research at all. Eventually, a business has competition and competition can reduce the price.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carryover Cards
One card carried over from yesterday; Mind moved from the Now to the Outcome position. The significance of the move doesn’t affect the reading, but confusion is certainly an undertone.
Cross
Completion is in the Now influenced by Adventure. This year was my first year helping to organise “Australia’s Biggest Morning Tea”. Today was the Completion of all the lead-up activities for the event – I’ve been looking forward to this being over but excited by the Adventure of seeing how it would turn out.
The lead in the committee didn’t have a lot of faith in people turning up to the event, let alone meeting the donation goal the team had set ourselves (based on her experience).
The Goal of Sharing is undoubtedly what the morning tea was about at the office.
I can guess why I ended up helping; for some strange reason, I felt I had an Abundance of time and energy in the Distant Past. The Abundance around my mindful and meditation sessions roped me into being part of the Wellness Committee. Hence, the We are the World card’s appearance in the Recent Past. We are the World being the card that represents working together for an altruistic cause.
The event was quiet, as predicted by our lead. Still, we had a Breakthrough (in Future Energy) when one of the attendees began walking around her floor desk to desk collecting donations from those who had wanted to attend but couldn’t participate due to work commitments. We ended up reaching our donation target.
Base
When it came to pack-up the event, while the team were out visiting desks, I was embracing the position of Feelings and the Immediate Future card of Aloneness. It was me packing up, and I loved every minute of it. It was rewarding.
For some strange reason, the Others’ Views of me is a change in their perspective. The Transformation card certainly reflects that change. Maybe they’re just seeing me in a new and different light.
As I’ve mentioned in the Donation Context above, raising funds for cancer has been a sensitive issue because I don’t’ really know how I feel about it. But I’ve adopted the “something is better than nothing” approach because the funds also support the sufferers of cancer and their families – this is something with which I wholeheartedly agree.
The Hopes & Fears has the Fighting card, which is about being hypersensitive to anything triggering an explosion. I hoped to get through the day without feeling the need to explain my situation, and I feared I would be unable to take a stance if I supported the cause, which might put me on tenterhooks.
It seems by the end of the day, and the Outcome is Mind. Mind in Osho is about confusion and lack of clarity.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Affiliations, Cancer Council Australia collaborates with a range of professional bodies
Cancer Australia’s review of funding to research projects in Australia 2016-2018
Definition
Altruistic: “selfless concern for the well-being of others; unselfish.”
End Day 145
Day 144 – Why I Stay Fat
24 May 2021
Fat Context
When I was younger, I vowed not to get fat. Now that I’m older, well, I’m overweight – aka fat. Sometimes you ask yourself how you got there. The good natural nutrition gene wasn’t part of our household. We used to say we were hiding behind the door when God handed out the good nutrition gene and the discipline gene! The latter, when it came to diets, dieting and fat removal.
Looking back, I realise that I also didn’t give my body the right opportunities to stay thin. Primarily, I relied on my natural metabolism, my sporting and active natures. What you don’t know is hormones play such an essential role in your metabolism. The other thing that plays a part is triggering bad muscle memory for your body by constantly going on “starvation” diets or eating less while working out (Fitbodz) or, at the very least extreme dieting.
Your Body Remembers Fat
Your body remembers because you remember, or a small part of you does at least. You should teach yourself to say “no” to junk food from loved ones when you’re sad. It’s like you should only ever drink when you’re feeling good within yourself, not when you’re trying to mask something. It’s easy to say, how do you know when that is, but you know. If you were to stop and listen, you’d know.
I get it; you don’t think you’re doing a yo-yo diet because it’s just to get you back down to the ideal weight, and you’ll maintain from there. Right now, The Dream card would appear; for most of us, that’s a pipedream. In my head, I trick myself into believing I don’t need to calorie or kilojoule count anymore. Then I do the “It’s only one more” or the “I’ll be good tomorrow” thing. And before I know it, I’ve consumed more naughty food – after all, it’s so tiny – than is healthy.
If you extrapolate that to the rest of the week/ month/ year unchecked, and I wind up beating myself up for letting myself down, over and over and over again. Then you eat because you get a “what the hey” mindset or a “what’s one more?” moment.
Fat and Getting Older
However, if you were young and disciplined to eat good foods (aka not junk foods loaded with sugar, as is my want 🍫), as you got older, your weight would be easier to manage. The word “diet” in terms of losing weight would simply apply to other people.
Alternatively, there’s a part of me that as the hormones begin to disappear and “bits” begin to droop and drop, that is holding onto whatever plumpness I have, even if it is fat. Muscle tone is good, but that requires – you got it – discipline. If I do happen to discover the “box” discipline came in and it’s not empty, I give dieting a whirl.
Don’t get me wrong; you feel fantastic! Being on a diet gives you energy, clothes fit well, and providing you’re wearing the right bra and underpants, everything looks good. But naked, that’s another story. Muscle tone might be there, but skin simply sags, even for fit people– just a little less saggy.
When you gain a little fat and sit at the heavier end of the ideal range or the bottom end of overweight, aka just past the saggy state, everything just looks fuller. Providing it’s just a little weight, you still look good in photographs. 📸
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carryover Cards
Two cards carried over from yesterday; Mind moved from the Distant Past to the Now, and Intensity moved from Others’ Views to the Goal position.
Cross
Mind is in the Now position influenced by New Vision. The Intensity card in the Goal position reflects the passion I want to have when I set about a healthy mindset for weight management.
In the Distant Past, I’ve always felt like The Outsider regarding weight management. It’s challenging to maintain momentum probably because I find it challenging, and when a distraction comes along, I usually jump onto the bandwagon. 😃🥁
More recently, in the Recent Past, Possibilities have opened up, and I’m speaking from my Mind’s perspective. Over the years, I believed many things other people have told me in this space, and I now have so much information that some of it is either irrelevant to me or conflicting. Trying to resolve some of those conflicts will open up more options.
The process of resolving will need me to trust and let go in Totality, which is the card sitting in the Future Energy position.
Base
Confusion (Mind card in the Now position) is always a good indication that something new is trying to find a home in your head. Amid the chaos, you can find a “light at the end of the tunnel”, and the light is what Awareness is in this situation. Awareness of the Feelings or Immediate Future spot echoes the Possibilities card, indicating the shift is still in progress.
The Flowering card is in the Others’ Views position, possibly reflecting others believe me to be entirely comfortable with my body and who I am – valid for the most part. It’s the only body I’ve got; I might as well make the most of it.
Hopes & Fears position has The Source or getting back to basics. Darn. I feared as much. Fat management is about getting back to basics; remove junk food, increase nutritious food and now that the ankle is better, move a little more. The hope is that the confusion is evident, and my path will give me discipline and consistency.
To make weight or fat management successful, I need to know myself and make myself disciplined; no one else can do it for me. Hence, the Turning In card sits in the Outcome position. Grumble, grumble, grumble….
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Fitbodz Fitness Centre, 2017, Why Starving Yourself is Bad for Weight Loss, last viewed 28 May 2021
Trifecta Nutrition, 2019, How to Not Be Hungry on a Diet: 12 Tips Backed by Science, Last viewed 28 May 2021
Lawler, Moira 2019, 5 Reasons It’s Harder to Lose Weight with Age, Everyday Health , Last viewed 28 May 2021
End Day 144
Day 143 – Macarons, Trying and Failing
23 May 2021
Trust Context
On Tuesday, there’s a cancer fundraiser activity called Australia’s Biggest Morning Tea. At work, our Wellness Committee is attempting to raise funds by having a morning tea. Participants need to bring a plate of food to share. My contribution was going to be macarons. They’re a little fiddly to make, but I’ve had a lot of success with them in the past.
The Macaron Journey
Macarons need a lot of egg whites since they are essentially meringues. I usually feel guilty if the egg yolks don’t get used. There are other biscuits (cookies if you’re American) that use yolks, but that’s double the amount of work I wanted to do. So, we purchased the bulk egg whites. If you don’t know what this looks like, it’s egg whites in a carton, with “nothing but egg whites” written on the box.
The egg whites looked strange, but they whipped up okay. So far, so good. It was then the sugar’s turn, and for clarity, I use the Italian meringue recipe. Italian meringue uses melted sugar streamed into rotating beaters. The meringue becomes smooth and silky – typically. But not today, with the eggs collapsing into a thin watery mix.
Brushing the failure aside – it happens, and I’m not one to be put off by something not working the first time (anymore 😁). If, at first, you don’t succeed, try again. Try again; I did. Put the eggs in a bowl; then it was “beat, beat, beat” until they were at the soft peaks stage. At this stage, I slowly poured the sugar syrup in and kept beating. Once again, the eggs collapsed into a soupy mix without any hope of resurrection. Before I could try again using real eggs, the thermometer case melted. As it turns out, the thermometer wasn’t a candy thermometer. After all these years, too!
Not succeeding at making the macarons, and despite my brushing aside failure the first time, I don’t like not accomplishing something I’ve set out to do, especially if we forslothed the morning (refer to References for what forsloth means). If I forsloth, I tend to get angry at myself about the lost time – too much of my mother’s words drifting through my head from my teenage years. Stuff like “you’ll waste your life away if you continue to lie/ sleep in any longer!”.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carryover Cards
There were no carryover cards from yesterday.
Cross
From a weekend of freedom and “unlimited” time on our hands (Understanding and Abundance cards), the Goal was to reach our Success regarding “one day we’ll get to it” tasks. Letting Go enabled me to move on from the confusion of the Mind, which was in the Distant Past. Perhaps the Goal of Success was to recuperate, and Letting Go was about not trying to do everything every weekend. Letting Go then enabled us to participate in life (Participation in the Future Energy position).
Base
My Feelings/ Immediate Future position has developed a sense of Maturity with Others’ Views seeing me as a person who does her own thing her way (Intensity).
The Hopes & Fears has the card of Patience, indicating that I wish (hope) I had more time while fearing things not done quickly enough. A case of “hurry up and be patient” or my favourite parental line to children, “you can do it at any time, as long as you do it now”. 😁
The Outcome position has the Fighting card, meaning I’m on tenterhooks. The failed macarons would probably be the cause.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
“Forsloth: To forsloth (money/ day/ lifetime) is to waste it through idleness.”. Susie Dent‘s Twitter Feed 14 Apr 2021.
End Day 143
Day 142 – Vitamin D
22 May 2021
Vitamin D Context
An uneventful day sees my husband, and I capitalise on the rare window of opportunity to seek out some autumn sunlight and vitamin D.
Today was a simple day full of household activities, and I don’t have anything to write about. It’s one of the beautiful things about a diary come personal blog; when you have nothing to write about, the mind and page remain blank. One of the beautiful things we managed today was to go oceanside and get some vitamin D.
Autumn (fall) is a beautiful time of year for weather in Queensland. The muggy humidity and heat of the earlier months drop so much that it lands into many people’s idea of the “perfect” temperature. And so, the temperature today fit into the ideal range.
We grabbed a picnic blanket, an audio splitter to listen to an audiobook, water and, as a treat, a doughnut. It was nice to know that it was all in the name of getting vitamin D and improving my bone density. It was nice to take that time out in what seemed like forever since we had some “us time”.
Sure, there was housework to do; there always seems to be housework to do! After all, the real estate agent is visiting on Wednesday to appraise the place, and you want the house to “POP” instead of simply “pop”, but we may not get there.
The sun began to drop, and the wind picked up; the time for apricating and soaking up vitamin D was over. It was time to return to daily life.
On researching vitamin D and whether we did get sufficient vitamin D levels to avoid taking a supplement, Healthline advised we did not. According to Healthline, when we went oceanside, we would need to be in the sun with a tank top and shorts for 10-30 minutes at midday to get sufficient amounts of vitamin D. Unfortunately, we were fully clothed. It was around 3:00 PM, so probably no vitamin d, just lots of apricating. Back to the supplement for me.
Thank you for reading. 🤗
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There one card carried over from yesterday; Suppression moved from Recent Past to Outcome.
Cross
Moment to Moment is in the Now position influenced by New Vision. Totality is the Goal, and The Dream is in the Distant Past. In the Recent Past, we broke Conditioning to living in the moment. Future Energy transformed like a butterfly from a chrysalis, as shown in Beyond Illusion, by simply living in the moment.
Because there was nowhere to be in particular today, going Moment to Moment was easy; New Vision is the “new way of looking at the world,” which we did when we visited the beach to relax.
The Goal of Totality means that we aimed at visiting the beach more often, and it’s always been The Dream. “Self-inflicted” obligations stopped us from fulfilling our desire, duties like housework, gardening, and household projects.
In the Recent Past, we broke our Conditioning and did something wonderful on the spur of the moment. The reason was to get some sun (alas, getting vitamin D this way wasn’t the best approach, according to Healthline).
Base
My Feelings/ Immediate Future position has the card of Receptivity. Receptivity is an echo to the Moment to Moment card in position one. The echo picks up the mood of the questioner; to follow the moment where it leads to being open to new experiences is essential.
Others’ Views is that of Exhaustion. Others, in this case, my husband, probably think that Exhaustion drove the decision to take the break. He’s not wrong.
Hopes & Fears has the card of Politics which leaves me scratching my head trying to figure out how this relates to the day. Ah, there it is … nup, lost it. Sorry, absolutely nothing. 🧐
Finally, the Outcome position has Suppression. The Suppression for today does not relate to yesterday’s Suppression, and here’s why “yesterday was work-related” today, I didn’t need to go to work. Could Suppression me my want to do housework and I went to the beach instead?
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 142
Day 141 – Colleague at Work
21 May 2021
Colleague Context
The final day of the week throws up a problematic workshop, and it makes you appreciate the benefits of having a great work colleague.
Thank goodness it’s Friday! Here in Australia, if you work in business in a head office or non-retail, Friday marks the last day of the working week. If the week has been a long week, then like The Cure would say, “Friday, I’m in love!”. So, it’s just one more day to get through before I can relax. This afternoon we, (my work colleague and me) facilitated a workshop.
The thought was it was a Friday afternoon, and like many workshops run at this time of day, the participants are trying to cut out at 4:00 PM, meaning we can pack up by 4:30 PM, and we can go home on time. As you’ve no doubt gathered, “no plan survives first contact with the enemy”.
At the break, the session got rearranged to suit the outputs from earlier. Actionable tasks were the aim. However, the initial “what” questions elicited anything from actions to philosophical statements. Our mission then was to “taskify” the groupings instead, which fell flat. Instead, we got a lot more information from a brainstorming situation.
In the end, it was creative and valuable but not where we thought we ended up, plus participants opted to stay longer! On a Friday afternoon? Really?
It was a big day; if it weren’t for my colleague being fantastic, things would not have gone as well. It’s situations like this when flexibility and patience pay off. My colleague recognising that I was in trouble with my ankle during the session, carried a part of the burden. At one stage, my back had even given me a hard time.
What a great day and a great colleague!
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
One card carried over from yesterday; Awareness moved from Others’ Views to the Outcome position.
Cross
picture or how the day would play out, the whole time wishing for the lazy option. The lazy option in today’s scenario would have been to follow the carefully laid out plan. Changing from that meant trying hard to channel it to the outcome initially identified.
Fortunately, Going with the Flow was the Goal, translating for flexibility in the schedule and remaining adaptable to the circumstances. The intensity card in the Distant Past was all about abandoning traditional approaches and “thinking outside of the box”.
In the Recent Past was Suppression. The ability to suppress, although not healthy in the long term and is not what Osho recommends, is a crucial skill. Particularly if you’re frustrated by people or circumstances, and you don’t want to make a career-limiting move. Alternatively, helpful if you don’t have career aspirations and just want to keep your job.
In the Future Energy position is Integration. Integration is about moving through Consciousness and past the desire to take the easy way out and finding a way to make it work out.
Base
My Feeling was that of Patience going into the day and proved to be helpful. Patience echoes Laziness in that Laziness is the avoidance or lack of awareness of a situation where Patience is aware and observing for the right moment to act. The observing element echoes Going with the Flow.
Others’ Views is that I am Experiencing every moment as it arrives; this is on par with Going with the Flow.
Guilt is in the Hopes & Fears position, which means I fear I feel guilty over not assisting my colleague as much as I would have liked in the clean-up. My hope in this situation is that my Guilt is unfounded.
Awareness is in the Outcome position, indicating almost a full circle of where I started with Consciousness. It’s like Marcel Proust said, ” The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” (brainyquotes).
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 141
Day 140 – Birthday Clumping
20 May 2021
Birthday Clumping Context
Why does birthday clumping happen in our lives? While I don’t think I have the answer, you might find some of the musings interesting.
In my mind was the topic of birthdays. I’ve noticed that birthday’s clump together for different people, and for me, my mother’s, close friends, my brother-in-law’s, and my sister’s birthday are all around April-May. It’s fun to observe how closely bundled birthdays can be. For instance, one of the loans managers at the bank, his family’s birthdays all seemed to happen around June. A friend at work mentioned birthdays for him were all in the January-February period.
What is it that sees family birthdays clump together or happen at the same time of year? Is it just the need for our hunter brains to seek out patterns in behaviour (Lang 2018)? Is there a connection? These questions are all questions I’ve been asking for years. Often I play with a mish-mash of ideas and think I come up with a suitable answer, then five minutes later, the answer is out the window.
Suppose I used the reincarnation and karmic path model where we owe each other a debt of service or gratitude. Debts create obligations, and obligations need fulfilment. The souls who need to repay the life experiences are born together to facilitate repayment.
Birthday Clumping and the Same Days
But why around the same time of year? To illustrate this point, I use ANZAC day (Day 115) as an example. Many souls shot were linked to Australia, and the number of souls Australia had lost but should have had was X many; it always seems Australia has a high percentage of births on ANAZC day. Are ANZAC day souls who were shot on that day returning to Australia on the same day?
Another example of this birthday clumping but over a broader period, covering years rather than a day, is the baby boomer bubble. The reason I began thinking these creative thoughts regarding clumping birthdays in the first place was the “baby bump” of the boomers, taught to me by my Geography teacher in high school. Are the baby boomers a group of souls reincarnated from the fields of the first and second world wars? Could it be argued in a fun way that the souls who had experienced the trauma of war returned to promote? It might explain why there was such a peace movement.
There’s, obviously, a far more logical argument to the baby boomer birth balloon on the current plane of existence. You know the war ended; men were no longer on the front. They were at home, and the world seemed safe again for people to have families. There were a lot of returning soldiers! If this is the case, then other “birth bubbles” may reflect similar times throughout history.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
Three cards carried over from yesterday; The Outsider moved from Goal to Influence, Awareness moved from Hopes & Fears to Others’ Views, and Control moved from Others’ Views to Hopes & Fears.
Cross
The Fool is in the Now, influenced by The Outsider, transformed from the Goal position yesterday. Breakthrough is in the Goal position with The Source in the Distant Past driving The Fool onward. In the Recent Past, The Miser sits with misery clasped and walled in by lack of generosity. The Future Energy looks brighter with Participation.
Base
Friendliness in the Feelings or Immediate Future position supports the Participation. Friendliness is between two, and Participation is with more.
Others Views’ has the Awareness card and indicated others see me as coming into my confidence and element. Awareness has gone from an internal understanding to one that is now showing on the surface (moved from Hopes & Fears yesterday to Others’ Views today).
Hopes & Fears has the card of Control, which incidentally has taken over the number one spot for the most number of appearances. The card was also present yesterday in Other’s Views and has swapped with Awareness to move away from being externally enacted to simply an internal struggle. I hope to remain in Control of myself and fear that I will exercise Control over others instead, through my insecurity.
The Outcome position has Projections. Projections mean that I may be inclined to interpret circumstances through “Michaela Vision” instead of seeing them for what they are.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Lang, Stephen D J, Mann, Richard P, Farine, Damien R 2018, Temporal activity patterns of predators and prey across broad geographic, Oxford Academic, Online, Last viewed 20 May 2021 scales
End Day 140
Day 139 – Go fetch and Micromanagement
19 May 2021
Go Fetch Context
Today, a well-meaning colleague wants to get over-involved in an idea. I try to implement a “go fetch” with some success.
If you’ve worked in business, you’ve probably been there; you’ve chewed over an idea for days and are finally clear on what you need to do. You’ve fleshed out how you need to go about implementation. Just as you begin, another person with skin in the game, who isn’t your manager, gets involved. They begin to take over the “how” of what you’ve agonisingly thought out, and suddenly your idea begins to decompose.
"Go Fetch" History
You cannot deliver your idea because managing the micromanagement takes up time otherwise spent on the outcome. And yes, it happened to me today. Frustratingly, I rang my manager and vented. I asked if he had any ideas for, what I call, a “go fetch”.
Don’t worry; he gave me that puzzled look you’re probably wearing at the moment. A “go fetch” is a diversion. For those of you who own dogs whom you have to exercise, you may understand the term. It’s the throwing of the stick, or ball, for the dog to chase. It makes the dog happy and lets you do something while he’s chasing the object.
“Go fetch” is also a technique you can use on children – go see what insert name of person furthest away from you in the house is doing; they might be doing “insert kids’ favourite activity here”, which could buy you enough time to get in the car and go to the shops without them.
Thinking back to my school years, it’s what the science teachers used to do to this poor, beautifully naïve girl. Sometimes, the teachers would send her to the different departments to obtain things like, at the time, a non-existent tin of spotted paint, a jar of skyhooks or a couple of long or short ‘waits’.
Juliette was incredibly good-humoured when the joke eventually dawned on her. At least the Art Department took pity and put some spots on a can of paint for her to take back to the Science Department.
Go Fetch Applied in the Business World
A practical example to illustrate “go fetch” in business goes like this: my project needed to move data from one old website management system to another. There was no easy way to port the data across, and the business needed to get its’ rewritten content approved. The customer became nervous when I mentioned we missed setting up a routing element* and it would need to go into the next sprint cycle – not far away. Needless to say, the issue got escalated, and the molehill became a mountain.
Luckily, I advised and fortified my management before the issue got to them. Investigating the business’s approval process by simply asking discovered the customer’s process would take twice as long as for us to set up the routing element. Having the routing in place would not help the business since there was no approved content to move across.
My management could go back to the customer and say, come back to us once your content is available. This pushback style is what I call a “go fetch”; the ball or the stick is the customer’s approvals they need while we’re busy setting up the routing.
* It was all too technical for me to remember. I only remember what I need to remember at the time I need to remember it. Once a project finishes, most of the technical details wash away, simply leaving concepts behind.
Go Fetch & Micromanagement
Smithy was under pressure to produce, and micromanagement described as “control over every part, however small, of an enterprise or activity.” When I told him about my idea, Smithy was excited about it. Smithy just wanted to help; they were helping too early. To get where Smithy can help, I needed to get a product suitable for him to work with.
The situation got worse the more I explained my idea to Smithy (not real name). Smithy then began to tell me how I could better progress the idea. I needed visuals, and I needed them now to show how my concept would work rather than tell. Oh wait, that’s what was happening when Smithy rang! Suddenly, invites arrived on how to work with XYZ product, which our area doesn’t use – even if the product looks great.
So, then the implementation of my idea got hijacked. I contacted my boss for a go fetch when I was unsuccessful in diverting the well-meaning attention of Smithy.
“Dear Boss”, do you have a go fetch or a delay tactic because I need time to get what I’m trying to achieve down? Once I got the idea down, Smithy would be engaged, and at that point, his input would be beneficial – just not yet.
Hallelujah! My boss had both. He was away for a week, and he needed to be in the meetings. The boss then produced work done before Smithy was on board that Smithy was required to be across before discussions could progress. The documentation contained background. Yippee! The go fetch would work beautifully. That was until Smithy organised a meeting to discuss the background document, which didn’t need my boss. 🤔
Okay, I give up, “Next!”.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
One card carried over from yesterday; Beyond Illusion was in Feelings and moved to Future Energy.
Cross
Change is in the Now position influenced by Mind. Mind is about confusion and things becoming confused. Wow! It matches my day with little massaging.
The Goal position has The Outsider; this is me trying to distance myself using “go fetch”. I was aiming (Goal) to be out of the conversation.
Morality in the Distant Past says that I’d done the morally right thing at some point, but it is now coming back to haunt me. It haunts me when I had finished evolving my idea in the Recent Past and brought it to Completion.
Beyond Illusion is the card of the chrysalis and sits in the Future Energy position, indicating something beautiful will emerge from the cocoon.
Base
Hmmm, it appears my Feelings encompass a degree of Celebration. My guess is the Celebration has to do with the change to an idea coming to fruition and working.
Others’ Views has the card of Control. I’m confident that Smithy would see me as wanting Control over my idea with the tactful yet firm pushback he encountered.
The Hopes & Fears position has Awareness. Awareness is the recognition of something I’ve previously ignored. In amongst the pressure, I realised there’s also an internal shift. I hope that the inner change shows me I’ve grown; the fear is that it is so subtle it is unidentifiable.
Finally, the Outcome position has Ordinariness. Is this the cards having a bit of fun with me, in saying, “it’s just another day”? You know, me tending the herds or ploughing the fields.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 139
Day 138 – Self-pity Moments
18 May 2021
Context
You know how yesterday I thought the cards were saying that Sorrow is in the Distant Past, and that meant I was over the worst of the cold. Not so. I couldn’t work today; the head cold had set in so much. From a writing article perspective, my mind has also left the building. You probably don’t want to read about me feeling sorry for myself. Although I think a good dose of self-pity can go a long way to healing whatever ails you – otherwise, why have self-pity, right?
There’s a fine line between self-pity and self-indulgent sorrow. Let’s look at the difference. If we look at the first couple of words under the definition for “pity” in the Apple Dictionary app, it’s about “compassion, commiseration, condolence …”, and then we look at “sorrow”. Sorrow begins with “sadness, unhappiness, dejection, regret, depression, misery …”. Although pity includes sorrow, sorrow doesn’t have “pity”.
I’m choosing to interpret the distinction between pity and sorrow, from a purely individual and subjective perspective, is pity has kindness, and kindness has compassion. “Compassion, on the other hand, gives us inner strength. It opens our ‘inner door’ and brings about better experiences.”, writes the Dalai Lama (2000, p.43).
As I’ve indicated pity, also contains sorrow; if embraced, it can lead to negative emotions. It’s fortunate that the page in The Transformed Mind I landed on captures this nicely, “[n]egative emotions negate … possibility. One then deliberately isolates oneself from the rest of humanity, and as a result, resentment, loneliness, fear, doubt, hopelessness and depression arise.” (2000, p.42-43).
Breaking through Self-Pity
Sometimes I like going to the depth of my misery. It’s good for me to plumb to the depths of my psyche. At one point in my life, it terrified me; dark thoughts of so many things, killing people, ways to commit suicide without impacting those I cared about; I didn’t need horror movies. My creativity could make up a scenario when visiting these depths.
Over the years, a few subtle prompts or advice in the form of books, songs, or random chats, and quite possibly a smattering of creativity helped build a safety net. After all, creativity wasn’t a bad thing; it was always there, good or bad, helpful or unhelpful. The advice I got advised me to lean into the depression.
Before anyone gets funny about that last statement, it’s about imagining the depression to its end and feeling it – not, and I repeat NOT, acting upon it. Hercule Poirot spoke about the difference between kicking a table and a person. “I enrage myself with an imbecile. I say, ‘I would like to kick him.’ Instead I kick the table.” (Christie) – big difference.
In one of my black moods of self-indulgent sorrow, I imagined going to the nth degree with the black mood, and when I got there, I realised I wouldn’t follow through. There were tears when I broke through the barrier. Then there was a feeling of immense joy, conquering my fears of the worst of my depths and coming into myself. From that point on, depression didn’t scare me; I simply embraced it.
Strangely, when I am depressed, there’s underlying happiness also because it means I can feel. Going to your emotional depths is like riding the waves at Peahi, Maui, Hawaii; it’s scary and exhilarating at the same time.
Dealing with Unwanted Self-pity or Emotions
When wallowing, try to show yourself kindness. Self-help books are great, but at times they can burden you when you’re low. Some try to steer you away from “negative” thoughts, but the trick is to acknowledge and move on. If you can’t move on, recognise you can’t move on. But remember, the moment will pass. Once you’re past your depression, work on positive thoughts.
Having negative thoughts helps you process; Bjork’s Hyperballad song metaphorically describes how she unloads unwanted emotions:
Every morning I walk towards the edge
And throw little things off
Like car parts, bottles and cutlery
Or whatever I find lying around
It's become a habit
A way to start the day (genius.com)
Bjork talks about sides you hide from your partner. The lyrics can apply to everyday life. I don’t recommend Bjork’s release method: “So, you end up having to unload your aggressions at a bar … So, you can come back to your loved one, kiss him sweet on his cheek, and say happily, ‘Hi honey.’ (genius.com). Meditate instead; it helps clear your head, lean into your self-pity every morning if you like! Meditation isn’t about suppressing thoughts; it’s about recognising, being okay and moving on from them.
But you don’t have to meditate to acknowledge your feelings; if you’re out and about and you “feel the rise of unpleasant emotions, take a moment and make an effort to identify their source. … Accept such feelings as your own in the moment. Do not shove them underneath, ignore them or try to substitute what you think of as good thoughts.” (Roberts, p.199). The key message is to remember it’s in the moment. Have you ever marvelled at a child flitting between emotions; sad, happy, grumpy, happy? That’s a child showing emotions without filters. Each moment different.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There were no carry over cards from yesterday.
Cross
Playfulness is in the Now influenced by Thunderbolt with the Goal of Abundance. My Projections onto others is in Distant Past, and self-delusion reflects in the Recent Past by The Dream card. Playfulness appears misguided if Compromise sits in the Future Energy position.
Against context, the change in the physical way Thunderbolt impacts a situation is not about depression but my new writing arrangements. Abundance as the Goal is an echo card of Playfulness, and both have a desire to share their joy. The Dream could be saying “I was dreaming” or have a romantic vision of my new format discussed on Day 137.
The Dream has passed, and the Compromise card represents grudgingly sacrificing something for the sake of progress. Compromise in the Osho cards always strikes me as a lose-lose arrangement, even though it is a win. Compromise can sometimes trigger sadness and some self-recrimination or self-pity.
Base
Beyond Illusion sits in the Feelings/ Immediate Future position; it indicates my feelings toward Playfulness or those encouraged by it as a transformation similar to a caterpillar and a butterfly.
Others’ Views see me as The Fool. The Fool is about new things, and there’s a risk in the new arrangement that might see me sleep in and miss the publish time.
My inner Hopes & Fears reflects Postponement. I hope to move past any Postponement, which has already happened today in writing (my fear). The hope is the Postponement does not affect anything.
The Outcome position has The Master, who is taking a higher spiritual path unaffected by social conditioning – not sure, all I know it means is things tend to move more quickly when I’m in the presence of The Master.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
His Holiness the Dalai Lama, 2000, The Transformed Mind – Reflections on truth, love and happiness, Penguin Books, Great Britain, ISBN 0340-76948-3
Christie, Agatha 1941/2019, Evil Under the Sun, Harper Collins Publishers, London, quote from Goodreads quotes, last viewed 20 May 2021
Genius Lyrics on Hyper-ballad, Bjork 1996/ 2002, Hyper ballad
End Day 138
Day 137 – Nose drip & Revisiting Old Posts
17 May 2021
Context
Here I am again with a nose drip and not feeling like concentrating too hard. Instead of coming up with new information, which may or may not be helpful, I opted to revisit an old post and tidy up the grammar and formatting. 🤧 The best way to think of this blog post, Day 137, is to treat it like a band’s “best of” album or a TV show’s “memories” or “flashback” episode.
You know, the kind of episode where you spend most of the time looking at the footage you’ve already seen before – some of the footage is nostalgic, sometimes it even progresses the storyline (not that often in my humble opinion). It’s probably due to a key actor, or someone caught off guard but the show had a deadline to meet. 🤧
When I reviewed Day 007, it made me realise just how new to writing a blog. It also made me realise that my husband was too polite in giving me constructive feedback. For instance, Day 007 spoke about trying to get some equipment, but I didn’t mention what gear I was on about – by the way, it was lighting equipment. 🤧 Amendments to Day 007’s post kept to a minimum while staying true to the original post.
Okay, this is where I’ve gotten to on the daily context because there’s really only so much I can do with a runny nose and its nose drip. 🤧🤧🤧
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There were two cards that carried over from yesterday: Sorrow was in Future Energy and moved to the Distant Past, We are the World was in the Distant Past and moved to Others’ Views position.
Analysis
The Source is in the Now influenced by Participation. The Rebel is in the Goal position, with Sorrow sitting in the Distant Past. A Recent Past of Integration led to reconnecting with The Source and is about Letting Go in the Future Energy position.
So, what does that mean? According to Louise L. Hay, colds reflect the thoughts cycling around, “Too much going on at once, Mental confusion, disorder. [and] Small hurts. “I get three colds every winter,” type of belief.”. Sadly, I can identify with this, in part at least. With colds comes nose drip 🤧 (am I belabouring the point?). What does this have to do with the cards? Good question.
As mentioned in other posts, The Source is the clay and The Creator the potter. Hay’s statement holds for me because I feel there has been too much going on at once. There was work at work. I wanted to give attention, and there was home. The Transformation spoke about on Sunday, Day 136, in my Hopes & Fears and its Outcome being listening to my Inner Voice.
Well, on Sunday night, I changed how I was going to write and post the blogs — fed up with writing about being tired all the time, a change needed to be made to when I wrote. I wanted to go to bed when my husband went to bed and wanted to be fresh with a clear mind when writing.
Finally, the best solution or at least a solution to give a go was to wake up earlier in the morning (4:30 am) and go to bed at 10:00 pm. It’s been great!
Cross
Now 🤧 The Source is about getting back and reviewing the foundations. The foundations got examined, from the perspective, I wanted to Participate in my life.
The Rebel is all about doing things to suit himself, as he is unfettered by conditioning or constraints. The Goal position occupied by The Rebel card highlights this aspiration. Sorrow moved from yesterday’s Future Energy position to be in today’s Distant Past. Yesterday, I spoke of him looking like me with the runny nose, and I’m glad to see Sorrow move to the Distant Past, indicating the worst of the cold is over.
Whatever had been going on in my life has now been addressed. The result of which is the Integration card’s appearance in the Recent Past. Whenever you’re tidying up, there has to be some clearing out, even in the realms of mental confusion. Cleaning up also means Letting Go and Letting Go is in the Future Energy position indicating the cold should go.
Base
In the Feelings/ Immediate Future position is Past Lives. Past Lives, in this case, is me going back to Day 007 because I wasn’t up to writing a lot (she says and looks at today’s post 🙂.
Others’ Views has the card of We are the World, meaning that others think I’ve been working collaboratively to resolve issues, and yesterday this was in the Distant Past. The We are the World card echoes the Integration card in the Recent Past, and I can assume some of what I have been doing appears this way.
🤧is in the Hopes & Fears spot and probably means I want to get a grip on the cold and have it over with …. RIGHT NOW! That is hope. Fear is not having any Control over it.
Breakthrough and Letting Go work together and are complementary and supportive, especially in the Outcome and Future Energy position. Breakthrough breaking through an area that has been a struggle. Letting Go is finally moving on from what has been holding you back from that Breakthrough.
On a cheeky note, perhaps the cards are saying that the nose drip IS letting go! 🤧🤧 Not wrong, I’m certainly letting go of something!
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Hay, Louise L. 2002, You Can Heal Your Life, Palace Press International, China, ISBN 1-561-70-628-0
End Day 137
Day 136 – Cold or Flu
16 May 2021
Cold Context
The weather has suddenly turned cold with it comes either a cold, flu or both. In today’s world, a sniffle means going to get a COVID test. How can you tell it’s not just the chill in the air? The advice is to go and get tested or at least isolate or wear a mask. Once inoculations against the worst symptoms of COVID have taken place, life may get back to some normality. My guess is as long as Australia is getting visitors, we will still need to have some testing.
Nonetheless, what are the typical symptoms of whether you have a cold or flu? According to The Herbal Drugstore (White, p.176), which provides a lovely concise table – pictured below -making it easy to tell the difference. The intro to the table says: “Cold symptoms restrict themselves to the upper respiratory passages, in other words, from the shoulders down, you feel pretty good. The flu comes on quickly and produces an all-over sick feeling.”.
Image of Cold and Flu Symptoms
Below is a COVID updated one modified from the World Health Organisation’s site and circulated by Priceline Pharmacy (March 2020).
Cold & Flu Updated for Coronavirus
Maybe I have got a cold coming on, or perhaps my runny nose is simply the weather changing. The nose running makes it hard to type more than a few words without putting a tissue to it. 🤧 For my sanity, this is where I stop writing and simply finish off with the analysis.
Let’s see what the cards say.
Performance
Data
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There were no carry over cards from yesterday.
Cross
The Creator is in the Now influenced by Ice-olation. The cards make sense considering my physical state. Beginning to come down with something hasn’t affected my ability to be me; it forces me to reflect on myself and my mood. It makes me take stock of what I have going on in my life. In any case, it’s about all I can do since I’ve started distancing myself from my husband (isolation) – one of us has to work!
Friendliness is in the Goal position and marks a worthwhile Goal – perhaps it’s a withdrawal from Friendliness which was the Goal.
We are the World forms the foundations of the Distant Past, where working together with others has led to me becoming The Creator. In Osho’s book, The Creator “works on himself” (p.49), working on the subject, not on an object.
In the Recent Past is Innocence. Getting back to Innocence is described by Osho (p.41) as dropping all the things about others, and you think about you. Letting them go and simply being – a phrase often used in my head is “what does it matter” or “storm in a teacup” or “don’t sweat the small stuff” or “let it go”.
The card of Sorrow having Gautam Buddha’s friend, Ananda, weeping makes me think of myself today, feeling sorry for myself. Is this a prediction of my Future Energy? In a nutshell, it is a cold not, just a runny nose due to weather changes?
Base
My Feelings/ Immediate Future position has The Outsider, and this card echoes the influence card of Ice-olation. Today it makes sense since being The Outsider and keeping my distance is self-inflicted isolation.
Others’ Views is that I’m playing Politics and perhaps this is true. Again, today’s social pool has been my husband, and maybe he thinks I’m two-faced or hypocritical about something, but he’s not around to ask; take a deep breath, let it go.
Transformation is in the Hopes & Fears position. Sometimes when I see the Transformation card, I think, “what now?” with a sense of trepidation. The fear of what’s going to change, knowing full well that I’ve been the instigator of the change. On the upside, I can also be quite excited by the prospect of things changing. Colds are usually a sign that I’m overcommitting.
The Outcome position has me listening to my Inner Voice, and since I flicked open to Osho’s book for Inner Voice, I’m going to use his last phrase, “a ray of light coming from the beyond into the darkness of our world”. It’s beautiful 🌦🌈.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
White, Linda (M.D.) & Foster, Stephen 2000, The Herbal Drugstore, Rodale Inc. United States, ISBN 1-5954-134-8
Priceline Pharmacy 2020, An update from Priceline Pharmacy – Coronavirus (COVID-19) – your questions answered, Priceline Pharmacy, Australia. Data modified by Priceline Pharmacy from the World Health Organization
End Day 136
Day 135 – Pink Tax
15 May 2021
Context
We recently had visitors, okay not so recently, nonetheless our visitors like watching one of the morning shows. On one occasion, I managed to catch a snippet of this lady commenting on the “pink tax”. I do not remember the woman’s name or the morning show, so her name will be Sue.
Sue was commenting on the bizarre nature of the “pink tax”. Those reading who are unaware of what the “pink tax” is, it’s a tax applied to goods marketed to women. Usually, there is a similar or equivalent product in the market for men. The product sold to women costs more than its male counterpart for no discernible reason; this is the pink tax. In the end, it boils down to price discrimination for profit.
Where Pink Tax might be okay
In some areas, it is reasonable to expect an additional charge for the colour of a product—for instance, masculine colours used for trade tools. To gain a niche in the market, a company decided to gamble in the trade tools area and sell pink tools. After all, the company was venturing into the world of the unknown, “how many female tradies would purchase pink tools”?
Producing the pink tools was most likely a limited run. The packaging needed development, and a marketing strategy applied. From a risk perspective, to recapture establishment costs, a company might put a higher price on the pink product. Even moving forward in this area, providing the pink product doesn’t become the bigger seller of the two, it is reasonable to have a slightly higher cost.
Thought-provoking flip on the Pink Tax
Sue recommended purchasing pink razers to simply go to the men’s section and buy the men’s razor. This recommendation is sound advice from a financial perspective, but it does not address the problem. Thea’s, Tilly Money, recommendations were the same Thea also added calling the product out on social media, contacting the company to ask for an explanation, and asking the company to do the right thing (McLachlan, 2020).
To be clear, I fully support the recommendations put forward by Sue and Thea if you are going to be financially wise. The argument against pink products comes when you look at the fact that women “care” about the products they purchase. Women are discerning consumers, and therefore care more about what they buy.
Let’s assume a women’s range happily exists, and on a thought-provoking tangent, a men’s range didn’t exist yet. I’m thinking of the men’s facial care products and shampoos in particular.
In my experience (I’m in my fifties), men didn’t care too much about face creams or skin-conditioning products. Heck, they didn’t even care about the shampoo they used. Conditioner? What’s that? Let’s say the women’s price was always $10 for a jar of beauty cream. To get a men’s market for the company and men to buy a rebadged woman’s “face cream” or hair shampoo means the men’s product has to be cheaper. Now, is that a pink tax or simply trying to get two products into the same home but under another name?
Pink tax for the needy or those that want something special
When it comes to shavers, Maria was the mother of four boys with a husband. Anything she bought for herself, such as razors, got appropriated by the boys. She then began purchasing pink razors to identify them as hers and sending a message out not to touch. The boys, admittedly, used their stock first, but when the money ran out and they needed to shave, they simply grabbed mum’s pink razors.
It was only a matter of time before Maria found out. But when Maria found out, the boys didn’t hear the end of their tampering with HER “expensive” razors. Maria and my mum also did this with THE good scissors.
The problem I have with the “pink tax” is how it has so insidiously assimilated itself into our or, at the least my, life. For many, many years, I HATED the colour pink. To the point where I didn’t even eat pink ice cream for the simple reason, it was pink. The anti-pink obsession wasn’t doing me any favours, and I learnt to deal and then love the colour. I learnt to embrace the colour and to embrace myself at the same time. It wasn’t just pink; khaki was right up there with the colour pink to dislike and avoid.
Part of me wishes I still disliked; purchasing products with pink no longer worries me from a colour perspective; now I worry about being ripped off. Why do I need to buy the man’s version just to be better off financially? Humph. Guess, as long as I’m willing to pay the price of the pink one, the companies will keep making them and charging what they charge. Why do I need to give up my femininity to save money? I’ll have to ponder that one some more.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There were no carry over cards from yesterday.
Analysis
Cross
Completion is in the Now position influenced by Mind, which I’m taking to mean that the Mind being full of confusion is having difficulty with something ending. Alternatively, something ending is causing chaos in the Mind. If the last were the case, then the two cards would be the other way around.
Comparison in the Goal position means I’m trying to sort out how to get past the confusion by making comparisons against others.
The Distant Past is Thunderbolt, and in the more Recent Past is the card of Compromise. In my experience, Compromise isn’t a win-win situation and is bound to contribute to confusion. Hopefully, this is at an end.
The Future Energy has Possibilities. Possibilities are about opening up and shows the Completion card in a positive light.
Base
The Dream in the Feelings position shows that I have unrealistic expectations surrounding the card of Completion – a bit of illusion or self-delusion, if you will.
Others’ Views has the card of The Master, which seems to indicate that to all appearances, I’m handling the Completion quite well in amongst a whirlwind of confusion in Mind.
Hopes & Fears shows Projections, meaning that I’m afraid (fear) that what others are seeing is simply a reflection of themselves, as in the Feelings card, The Dream that I am projecting is nothing but illusion instead of reality. My hope, however, is that projecting Completion and being The Master, that is, in control and unaffected by petty grievances, doesn’t affect me. Not true because the Comparison card is in the Goal spot. .
The Outcome position has the card of Creativity. Creativity is like the big sibling card to Possibilities, and it too symbolises positivity.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
McLachlan, Thea 2020, The Pink Tax, Tilly Money, Online, last viewed 15 May 2021
Wikipedia, Pink Tax
Broadway, Anna 2013, Pink Wasn’t Always Girly, The Atlantic, Online, last viewed 15 May 2021
Harmann, Margaret 2011, The History of Pink for Girls, Blue for Boys, Jezebel, Online, last viewed 15 May 2021
End Day 135
Day 134 – Making Sense of Bitcoin
14 May 2021
Context - Bitcoin
Following on from yesterday’s discussion with Sandy regarding bitcoin, I set about demystifying my ignorance, at least to my satisfaction. For those reading this post, the sources I’ve used only provide me with sufficient knowledge to grasp the concept. Wikipedia and my husband are my go-to’s for an overview of the topic at hand. These sources are not bitcoin experts. The person I know who is a bitcoin expert keeps it shrouded in mystery, not intentionally. Jay (not his real name) probably isn’t patient enough to explain it to someone who might take a while to get it. 🤷🏻️ I get it! Not bitcoin, not yet.
So why do I use my husband? Firstly, he’s constantly researching information and keeping his knowledge of the world current, not confined to social media, but across various news sources, current affairs, history and other creditable sources. In a sense, he’s my walking Wikipedia; a good starting point. For you, as a reader, this means further research if it’s something you’re interested in, and I have provided a link in the references area.
Bitcoin Jargon
When delving into a new area, you’re bound to come across jargon – Bitcoin is no different. Here are the terms I’ve found and my interpretations applied. Remember, I’m new to this stuff and might be wrong. Links provided below in the References area:
Cryptocurrency – Cryptocurrency is a currency that is electronically encrypted and stored. Later, a cryptocurrency owner (bitcoin) can convert it into standard funds.
Blockchain – If you imagine 1 cent is a block, and 100 cents is a blockchain. However, unlike dollars that have defined denominations, blockchains appear to be unlimited. Each “block” has a value, and its value depends on what the market is willing to pay. Bitcoin seems a lot like shares.
Ledger – like anything financial, there needs to be a ledger to record the balance. Your bank’s statement is a ledger.
Decentralisation – hmm. Right. The best way to describe it is if you’ve been shopping and bought more than you can carry, which typically means organising delivery or a courier. Unless, of course, you can find someone heading in the same direction – for demonstration purposes, let’s say your neighbour. In this case, you ask if they can take some items home for you. You offer to pay them a small amount for fuel.
It’s a win-win. You win because you get your shopping without needing to organise a courier or delivery driver. Your neighbour wins because they get money for expending minimal energy and doing what they would have done anyway.
Now imagine this in terms of mathematical calculation effort. You store an app running in the background of your device for processing said calculation. The processing effort doesn’t impact your device, and you charge your device each day like usual, plus you’ve made money at the same time.
More Bitcoin Words
Cryptography – the process of “writing or solving code/s” is that mathematical calculation I referred to in the above paragraph. I wonder whether the code is The “Bitcoin”. Several codes might be Bitcoins, interesting.
Digital Money – this is the currency generated by an application and its energy use.
Proof of work – I’m guessing here, but I think this might be referring to evidence that the application has been in operation on your phone. Another guess is the application will have some reporting function built into it to prove it has been working.
Mining – this is the application’s process on your device, aka the work in finding the code or puzzle using your device’s energy, hence the word mining substituting for work. If you have the application on your device, then that makes you a miner.
Reward and fee – Presumably, the reward is the money (bitcoin) you get for the use of your device. Not sure where the fee comes in. Perhaps that’s the person who uses your device’s energy to process their code, making it their cost and your reward.
Final Comment on Bitcoin
Wow! That’s a lot of information to take in for one day. Oh, by the way, here’s a picture I got from Shutterstock that kind of highlights the Cryptocurrency process. I have concerns about the code which the cryptocurrency is trying to solve, but that’s a discussion to cover in another post – maybe tomorrow’s, we’ll see.
Now to the cards.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There was one card that carried over from yesterday; Morality moved from Others’ Views to the Now position.
Analysis
Cross
Morality is in the Now position, which is probably me trying to work out the right thing. The Now is influenced by Patience, and Clinging to the Past is in the Goal spot. Interestingly Clinging to the Past has come up; it was the challenge I faced yesterday (Day 133). Being in the Goal position, and based on today’s Context, the Goal was to leave Clinging to the Past in the past – my way of saying “challenge accepted!”.
In the Distant Past is the card of Success. The Osho book warns not to cling to the moment of Success for “it too shall pass” (p.88). Success has continued in a fashion in the Recent Past card of Harmony. Harmony is about the connection between following the heart and life, which is the connection I feel with both my sister and, in this case, Sandy.
The Future Energy spot holds Letting Go, which seems like the Goal is progressing nicely.
Base
My Feelings or Immediate Future position has the Completion card, which follows through on the Letting Go card in Future Energy. Woohoo!
The Views of Others has Inner Voice and indicates that my personal view (Harmony) is consistent with how others see me.
Inner Hopes & Fears has No-thingness, which was also present in this position on Day 131, for different reasons. Nonetheless, No-thingness is a blank slate full of potential. In light of today’s topic, I hope to be able to use bitcoin and without trepidation. The reverse is then true; I fear using it will have moral implications (ooh, maybe that’s where Morality fits in).
The Outcome position has the card of Flowering, suggesting that my knowledge on the topic has flourished and confidence attained.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Rosic, Ameer 2020, What is Bitcoin, BlockGeeks, Online, last viewed 14 May 2021
Euromoney, 2020, How does a transaction get into the blockchain?, Euromoney, Online, last viewed 14 May 2021
Weerasooriya, Nayomini, What is bitcoin?, Vapara (image BlockGeeks), Online, last viewed 14 May 2021
End Day 134
Day 133 – Feeling Inadequate
13 May 2021
Context
Feelings of inadequacy and adequacy both existed today. In a meeting at work, I realised others were struggling with our workload. On the home front, I struggled with the changing world.
Feelings of Inadequacy on the Work Front
The feelings of inadequacy at work were off set in the meeting because it became clear I wasn’t the only one struggling; and by comparison, I was doing better than I thought – it was comforting to know.
Every now and again comes a moment when I struggle to keep up with the work on my plate. Prioritising is the key. So, it’s refreshing to find out you’re not the only one with feelings of inadequacy – this was evidenced in a team meeting today. Sometimes the struggle and expectations of yourself can weigh down your emotions.
The other side-effect when you get feelings of inadequacy, for me at least, is that I take on extra work to compensate, which in turn compounds the issue. In a pre-COVID world, a colleague would tell me I was taking or doing more than I needed to do. It’s great to get candid feedback.
When working at a computer company in the 90’s the Managing Director kept some of his favourite quotes from Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun by Wess Roberts handy. One of those quotes was: “A king with chieftains who always agree with him reaps the counsel of mediocrity.” (p.101/119). Ever since I read the quote, it has been a guiding principle for paradigm shifts over the years (refer to Day 129 for one probably based on this quote).
Feelings of Inadequacy on the Home Front
While I felt better after the meeting at work, later that day, I felt myself being challenged by new and upcoming things – like bitcoin. The challenge happened when Sandy had given me a call after a couple of drinks. Sandy was excited by her latest discovery (love it, love her!) and was at her “fourth drink”. Being at her fourth drink typically means she repeats herself.
Bitcoin has been around for a while now, but it has had little impact on my life. I’ve been curious, of course, but not enough to seek it out – who has the time? Sandy was all a-buzz about bitcoin and Doge. Her enthusiasm on the first listen bolstered me and on the fourth listen had me tuning out. Then I felt rude because I was tuning her out. All I can say is that she would probably wind up with a headache the next day; mind you see she, rarely suffers the effects of alcohol – good liver?
When Sandy was trying to “inexpertly” explain bitcoin and Doge, I began to feel my age. Is this what it felt like when younger? I tried to explain things to those older than me, and they shut me down? Were these poor victims of my youthful enthusiasm shutting me down to buy time to get up to speed on the topic? If so, OMG! I’m so sorry. I felt out of my depth and realised I was struggling to cope with Sandy’s inebriated state.
Struggling with Sandy’s inebriated state also made me feel inadequate. So infrequent has been my experience been that it has thrown me off-guard. It made me wonder whether this was what happened to Betty when talking about Twitter, creating websites and the friendship I have with my husband (refer to Day 013).
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There were no carry over cards from yesterday.
Analysis
Cross
The Lovers are in the Now position influenced by Silence. Stress is the Goal, an unusual goal – if I do say so myself. Stress and was borne out of Innocence from the Distant Past. In the Recent Past sits Thunderbolt, which is the radical changing and shifting of physical characteristics in my life. The Lovers, influenced by Silence, looks like the calm after a storm.
However, Future Energy has Ice-olation, and the line from Osho says, “It’s okay to cry, and there is no reason to feel ashamed of your tears. Crying helps us to let go of pain, allows us to be gentle with ourselves, and finally helps us to heal.” Implying healing energy is coming up.
Base
Another card that has the feeling of isolation is The Outsider card. It is in the Feelings/ Immediate Future position, implying I still feel left out of the conversation.
The Others’ Views position has the Morality card, indicating others were seeing me do the right thing or being prudish. Maybe I’ve turned into a prude as I’ve gotten older, especially where drunken friends are concerned. I just don’t know what to say in that situation.
The Hopes & Fears, the position is Schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is about being in two minds. One is Hope that my friend was too intoxicated to notice my confusion on the bitcoin and I wanted time; two is the fear that my confusion showed.
We are the World is in the Outcome spot. It represents working and collaborating for or to a common goal, this could be Sandy and I expunging my feelings of inadequacy.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Roberts, Wess Ph.D, 2009, Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun, HachetteBookGroup.com, USA, last viewed 13 May 2021
- Day 013 – Betty, Dobby, Transforming a New Vision
End Day 133
Day 132 – Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)
12 May 2021
Context
Day 132 – Personality Tests
My creativity and ability to think differently is being recognised instead of being thought of as weird. A process that had me baffled for a few months suddenly became clear when I began communicating it. You see, sometimes I’m an external processor. External processors, according to Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), need sounding boards or people to act as a sounding board so information squashed into their heads can have the room to associate with one another freely.
Internal processors access information from external sources but bring it into their minds and chew on the ideas, mix and match them, drill down into them to form linkages. One day a friend of mine commented she was worried about her child not talking since he hadn’t been talking much at all. That day, little Mikey came out with a complete sentence and declared that he thought a hippopotamus looked like a dinosaur. My guess is he was an introvert.
Note being an Introvert in the MBTI system does not make you shy, reclusive, or a wallflower. Likewise, it does not mean an Extrovert is boisterous, loud, constantly chirpy, or over-confident. Introversion and Extroversion in the MBTI describe your preference for receiving and processing information.
When talking about internal and external processors, I’m talking about people, not computers. In the Myers Briggs Type-Indicator (MBTI), this would identify me as an External or subject to extroversion. This indicator is valid for me when I’m unable to resolve it by being quiet 🤫 and happens in moments where I’m stuck on an issue. It’s at the very moment when I open my mouth, and words begin to spill when the connections start to happen; it’s like my head has information overload and needs room to process an idea. The mental version of “biting off more than you can chew”.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Use
The MBTI instrument has had a log of criticism; refer to the Wikipedia blurb for details, but I have found MBTI quite validating and reassuring. It has provided me with ways of working on aspects I didn’t like about myself. It also explained why under pressure, I become my polar opposite. Quite often, such tools get repurposed to measure other things. The MBTI site stipulates, “The MBTI instrument sorts for preferences and does not measure trait, ability, or character”.
When a tool is searching for preferences, we all know tastes change. When answering “secret security questions”, one of my dislikes was the question asked about your “favourite” this-or-that item. My favourites even, of all time, are likely to change. The colour blue might be on the favourite list today, but tomorrow it might be turquoise. And the most significant criticism of the MBTI seems to be it changes based on your preferences changes. Forgive me; this seems to be the point.
The next bit of information I am about to use comes from discussions with a learned friend, who I’ll call Shiloh for storytelling purposes. Shiloh worked in Human Resources and was au fait with the MBTI instrument, so she ran internal informal company sessions. One of the techs was able to whip up a program to ask the questions and spit out the response. Enthusiastically, the team embraced the program. It was initially used daily, then weekly and eventually not at all.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Criticism
The other criticism of MBTI is the “type” system was thought to identify extreme preference types but found most participants would sit in the middle range. Just quickly, there are four categories: Introversion-Extroversion (I or E), Sensing- Intuitive (S or N), Feeling-Thinking (F or T), or Judging-Perceiving (J or P). Typically, you would fall into one or the other of each of the initials, which would get joined to make up 16 different preference categories. For instance, ISFJ would be Introversion-Sensing-Feeling-Judging – one of the 16.
As Shiloh explained, the whole point was to help you obtain a balance. From memory, the middle of the balance point used the letter X. Shiloh mentioned; some people had an extreme. Shiloh herself was very high on introversion. My extreme letter was, well, was all of them except for extroversion. I know you’re thinking, “really?” and you would’ve thought, based on my example above, it was “out there!”. You’re right; it was. Age has mellowed me in this category.
Shiloh’s point was, change and growth are things that need to happen. Your preferences result from your experiences, and having paradigm shifts, like on Day 129, is part of what promotes these changes. Where you sit on the MBTI scale at a point in time can show personal growth. The aim is to head toward the middle ground.
It seems I am a proponent of MBTI, and it could very well be the case. However, having completed a couple of personality type tests like DISC, ViaMe, ASQR, plus a couple more, I still come back to the MBTI. Sure, there was stuff in there I didn’t like or agree with (possibly because I didn’t like what I heard 🤔), but it was helpful, and I’ve worked with the strengths and weakness outputs.
Summary
These days, I’d like to think I’m more well-rounded with fewer extremes, and there is more of an introvert in the process of being developed with all the midnight writing I’m doing.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There was one carry over card from yesterday; No-thingness moved from the Hopes & Fears to the Outcome position.
Analysis
Cross
Compromise sits in the Now influenced by Beyond Illusion. Beyond Illusion as an influence on Compromise means the Compromise reached is temporarily beneficial for me.
When the Goal is Traveling, I’m looking to get away in a physical sense.
The idea to travel formed when listening to my Inner Voice in the Distant Past. Up until now, to travel anywhere has been a compromise. Still, there is some confidence in the intra-Australian travel market. Possibly international travel to New Zealand, at least now, seems possible.
The time and Compromise are ripe, as shown by the Ripeness card in the Recent Past position. From a no-win situation of Compromise, I need to travel Moment-to-Moment; well, that’s where Future Energy thinks I’m going to go.
Base
In the Feelings position is the card of Receptivity. Receptivity is probably a better description of the tricky situation than letting go because it implies an openness to change – even if it does leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
Others’ Views has the Adventure card meaning others see me as curious and new to the world I find myself in. It might also be indicating; you think I’m in over my head. 🙆
Aloneness is in the Hopes & Fears position and has a darker tone than the cards around it. Hope is for me to have some assistance and companionship on my journey, and the fear will likely be the reverse.
The last position is Outcome with the No-thingness card. No-thingness is the potential to use creativity and form a future, which typically is unknown.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Myers-Briggs Chart of Types, Wikipedia, Last viewed: 13 May 2021
The Myers & Briggs Foundation, MBTI Basics, Last viewed: 13 May 2021
End Day 132
Day 131 – Sister Tech Support
11 May 2021
Context
My sister rang me today for tech support. It shouldn’t be surprising to have my sister ring for tech support, and for the most part, it wasn’t. The call did put me in mind of a time, of back in the day when I was younger, more resilient, and needed to prove I knew stuff, especially to my younger sister. In particular, now that we were out of school and had been working adult jobs.
It’s weird how as the older sibling, you became conditioned to feeling superior to your younger sibling for many years. After all, you were always a couple of years ahead in school. It’s not until you’ve both left school when the disparity disappears. Then one day, you’re forced into a paradigm shift, either big or little, and you realise your younger sibling is also intelligent. Depending on where you sit with your sibling, you might even begrudgingly be impressed.
If you flip this one around, one day, your younger sibling must have realised you’re not as clever as they always thought you were! 🙀 Now, there’s a paradigm shift that keeps therapists in business.
Those who knew me when I worked on the IT Service Desk (many years ago) would probably describe me and my IT knowledge as “having the confidence of an expert but only enough knowledge to be dangerous.”.
Sister to the Rescue
So, my sister had a computer problem, and I had computer problem-solving knowledge. It was a match made in heaven! I sat down, the computer and I stared each other down (figuratively). Every bit of computer knowledge I possessed I tried, to no avail. The computer was playing hardball, but I had confidence on my side! One more trick up my sleeve. I’d been reluctant to play it, and my doubt about its use may have been voice but got drowned out by reassurance.
With figurative guns a-blazing and a swagger of the hips, I cracked my knuckles, pushed out my hands and arms, flipped up the tail of my coat and like a maestro at the piano, proceeded to delete the entire contents of her hard drive. Whoops!
Needless to say, if my sister had to have a paradigm shift about her older sister being the smartest person she knew at that moment, her world would have crumbled. Luckily for me, she’d ditched that belief long ago. Here, she was simply disappointed that the hype didn’t live up to its name! Don’t worry; my sister brings up my words of confidence, used at the time, whenever fixing a computer is involved.
Of course, when she rang today for support, the phrase cropped up, and she asked where that confidence had gone when it came to tech support. The standard response for the last 20 years was, “I went to project manager school and had the part of my brain that lets me say I’m an expert in anything removed.”.
By talking about the problem, my sister got a different perspective which put her on the path to solving her computer problem. All hard drives and “unsyncing” mailboxes are safe!
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
Two cards carried over from yesterday, Innocence moved from the Feelings to the Now position and No-thingness moved from Others’ Views to Hopes & Fears.
Analysis
Cross
Innocence in the Now is influenced by Creativity. Success in the layout is in the Goal position. The Recent Past has the Mind card representing confusion resulting from the need for Control in the Distant Past. From the Innocence of Now to Maturity sitting in the Future Energy position.
My guess on what is transpiring here could be that the computer incident with my sister comes from when I wanted to Control the situation. It was born of Innocence, and with a similar scenario presenting itself today, my response was that of Maturity.
Base
The Feelings/ Immediate Future position has the card of Ordinariness. Ordinariness is tackling my sister’s issue with a “down to earth” mature approach. No more fanfare – at least not this time 😉
Others’ Views is that of Sorrow. Not sure whether they are sorry for me or because of me. I will leave it to you to figure out.
Hopes & Fears position has the card of No-thingness or the card of potential or nothing. My hope is for my sister’s issue to resolve itself, and I fear I can do nothing to help.
Sharing is in the Outcome position, indicating openness and warmth reaching out to everyone.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 126
Day 130 – Ankle Pain is Back
10 May 2021
Context
Sometimes, it’s good to take time out. Today my ankle pain had come back, and it had taken its toll on my energy. So, to be clear-headed when this happens, I take a 20-minute nap on the lounge to give myself an energy boost and mental clarity. Unfortunately, it was one of those days when I continued to sleep instead of waking up after 20 minutes.
The surprising thing about the broken ankle pain returning is that it had been healing, oh so wonderfully, then it seemed to regress. A resurgence in ankle pain could be the result of the first intentional walk as exercise since January. This walk included a steep gradient which the Apple Watch Activity app told me was the equivalent of seven flights of stairs. It’s also a pretty long gradient.
That said, I take notes each day to make it easier to write and catch up. I’d like to say the content of this post will get updated on the weekend, but the weekends are so busy already, so this one is unlikely to go beyond what it contains.
Your understanding is very much appreciated.
Yours soulfully,
Michaela
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There was one carry over card, New Vision. New Vision moved from the Distant Past to the Recent Past. There’s a natural order to these things, hmmmm.
Analysis
The Projections card is in the Now influenced by Harmony. Harmony, although usually an expansive card, is acting as a blocker style of influence. Projections is when you perceive the other person to have traits you want them to have. Osho describes Projections as “when you find a judgement arising about another, turn it around: Does what you see in others really belong to you?” (Osho, p.110). The projection can be complimentary or unflattering; it is a projection, nonetheless. That’s why when Harmony is in the Influence position, it fits into the flattering Projections category.
The Goal spot has Trust, and the Distant Past has Totality. New Vision sites in the Recent Past. The Outsider’s card in the Future Energy place indicates my desire to share an experience and trust somebody with Totality. The Outsider is when I discover that my projection of the desire to find somebody like-minded makes me feel like The Outsider—not realising that there was an opportunity open to connect.
Base
My Feelings are those of Innocence. Invariably, those opportunities to connect are because of my clouded perception of others not possibly be interested in my ideas. Wow! Believe it or not, I’m learning a lot about myself when I type these posts.
No-thingness is in the Others’ Views position. The No-thingness card here indicates the possibility others think there is a potential connection as well. So, it’s not all one way, but I wouldn’t be able to see that because of the cloudiness of Projections.
In the Hopes & Fears, the position is The Miser. The Miser is about keeping things to yourself; it’s shrinking away from a situation. My fear is this will happen if I open up and discover we are not on the same page. Alternatively, I hope The Miser card controls me if I get over-exuberant.
The Outcome then is Ice-olation, which is a big sign that The Miser fear will most likely dominate; in the process short-changing myself.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 130
Day 129 – Paradigm Shift
9 May 2021
Context
My husband and I watched Cinema Therapy’s YouTube post on the Wonder Woman 1984 movie. At about the minute and a half mark, Decker defined the paradigm shift as being “a fundamental change in perspective, beliefs, or world view.”. It got me thinking about work and the Tarot indicating growth or Transformation was due. Emotionally I was sensing it too. You know, there’s a bit of unexplained tiredness; you’re off your game, perhaps feeling an inexplicable desire to weep for no readily available reason.
Last night, I had an epiphany and my new role of work suddenly made sense. Whatever I’d been holding onto probably from some misguided loyalty or security net had gone and the clarity or acceptance of the new role connected. Reflectively, I have been slow on the uptake. But now, there’ll be no stopping me! The sad part about having the epiphany is it reflects backwards. There’s the realisation other people have known for some time, just unable to communicate it.
Some people are catalysts for paradigm shifts
Some people make you better if you’re prepared to listen with your ego set aside. It’s not that I didn’t listen. In fact, I was reasonably good at it. The other thing I knew was that there was always a greater and a lesser skilled person than me in XYZ activity and area. Most of the time, my knowledge was reasonably current. I learnt and adapted quickly and fell into the late 20’s early 30’s bracket, making me young and experienced. My confidence in my capabilities was high.
Then one day, a new, younger person started at work. Krystal was intelligent, vibrant, witty, likeable, and also adapted quickly. Everything about her spelt threat, especially when vying for the team’s “cleverest person” award. A paradigm shift was due, and in this case, it was going to be accompanied by a down-pegging (taking me down a peg or two).
By the way, there wasn’t an award; it’s just the subtle rivalry you might come across in a work environment – almost sibling rivalrous. On the help desk, we often consulted with other help desk officers about this-or-that knowledge, Krystal was able to contribute equally. It wasn’t until she contributed to “MY” speciality area when I hackled.
The paradigm shift moment
Typically, the hackles would turn into passive-aggressive moments, and the interaction would become strained. It was then I realised Krystal was my greater in some areas of my areas of expertise! What I thought was uniquely mine – think about it, mine. Really? It was nowhere near logical! It was an IT problem to solve. After all, the knowledge already existed. That’s how I got it!
It was a secretary thing in me, or at least it was with some of the ones I studied with and met when relieving in numerous secretarial positions as a contractor. A lot of secretaries liked to think they were indispensable. It made us feel important. In our heads, it meant job security – or so we thought! My boss at the time said when I put in for nine weeks’ vacation, “if no one else can do your job, you can’t go on vacation.”. Did I make myself replaceable? You bet!
The Krystal moment was a paradigm shift for me. It took me by surprise when after stepping back from the moment, I didn’t mind. Compassion and logic joined forces inside me. Of course, you’re getting older, and young people can be smart too – remember the moment you realised your younger sister was smart too? – it’s good to see the world with intelligent, lovely people. From that point on, I no longer worried about people being better than me.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
Two cards carried over from yesterday; Ordinariness moved from the Influence to the Now position. This movement signifies a subtle move by Ordinariness becoming the now, means simply focussing on getting the job done.
The Source moved from the Recent Past to the Goal position. Suggesting a desire to revisit of basics, and simply focus on the Now.
Analysis
Cross
The Ordinariness card is in the Now influenced by Flowering. The Source sits in the Goal position with the New Vision (yoga card 😃) occupying the Distant Past. In the Recent Past, there is the Clinging to the Past card. From the influence of Flowering on Ordinariness and getting back to basics (The Source), the Transformation card appears in the Future Energy position.
Well, what can I say? I knew Transformation was around the corner; I wasn’t aware it was going to be today. The significance of epiphany didn’t occur to me until later in the day (the future from when I shuffled). By the way, Transformation is another word that describes a paradigm shift.
Base
My Feelings on the shift from the ordinary to the Transformation is, “it’s about time”. I’ve been patient, and perhaps that’s why the Patience card has shown up.
Others’ Views in response to the shift is one of Friendliness. Friendliness could be appropriate because my energy and enthusiasm are up. Luckily for me, most will see the mood as me recovering from an ankle injury.
In the Hopes & Fears position sits The Creator. The Creator is the potter working on new clay or reformed clay. The reshaping skill of The Creator is what I hope to have and use well. On the side of fear, it is the possibility of reshaping something into being unhelpful.
Morality is in the Outcome position and suggests that I’m now going to do things “properly”.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright, WONDER WOMAN and Coping with Paradigm Shifts, last viewed 11 May 2021
End Day 129
Day 128 – Sleep
8 May 2021
Context
With mental health becoming a significant focus and will become so over the next five to fifteen years, there will be many theories popping up on how best to negotiate healthy living. One of the big drives for better mental health is getting enough sleep. Usually, the seven to eight hours being ideal. The focus of when to go to sleep will also feature. So, how much sleep do you need?
Happy Short Sleep
Over the years, I met people who have survived on very little sleep without appearing pre-maturely aged, tired, overweight, or unhealthy. For instance, Helen had trouble getting her son, George, to sleep through the night during his school years and tried many techniques, even occasional shouting, which only stressed both of them. She sought recommendations from the family doctor. The doctor responded if George performed well at school, was healthy, and maintained good humour and temperament; the doctor said not to worry because everybody was different.
Another instance was when I worked for a multi-national computer company the accountant only ever slept three hours a night! He was intelligent, good-humoured, had published several books in multiple languages. He said he survived on naps.
When working on the Service Desk, Shirley would awaken randomly at three in the morning. Shirley used to try to go back to sleep, but she was wide awake. In the end, she said she got up and worked on her investments, finances or read a book until she was tired again. Then went back to sleep, wake and go to work. She retired to a Melanesian country to enjoy her old age. All these people were in a healthy weight range, looked young for their age and seemed happy.
Another amazing woman Amy gets up at three in the morning, and instead of fighting the awake state, she would perform research, writes papers, and update documentation. Shaun wakes up to meditate, and Steve wakes at six regardless of when he goes to sleep. Michael wakes after six hours and works out in his home gym. The shortened sleep periods seem to be supplemented by most of them with naps when they feel overtired.
Sleep Studies
There was a study by Oxford Academic (Wild et al., 2021) with over 10,000 participants from various age groups. Tests in cognition of Short-Term Memory (STM), Reasoning, Verbal and Overall. The research concludes everyone needs seven to eight hours of sleep to be intelligent and productive human beings. There are many other studies to support this stance.
You can call me a mumpsimus (Dent, 2021). Mumpsimus is a 16th-century word for “one who insists that they’re right, despite clear evidence that they are not.”. Firstly, I’m not insisting that I’m right by touting an alternative point-of-view and some areas where a paradox exists contrary to the research.
On a planet with 7.9 billion people (worldometers.info), a study of 10,000 from predominantly English-speaking cultures seems assumptive. Understandably, it would be challenging to perform more extensive research and perhaps even prove redundant. Other studies like the one by Hirshkowitz in 2015 broadened the research. Both the Wild and Hirshkowitz studies focussed on everyday sleep patterns and tested everyday STM, reasoning, verbal, and overall responses. The best results showed between seven to eight hours, broadly speaking (it varies by age) produced the sleep recommendation baseline.
Further Investigation into Sleep
Firstly, these studies did not include Buddhist monks. Buddhist monks typically sleep six to six and a half hours; from my minimal experience with Vipassana retreats. It was required for practitioners to go to bed at around 9:30-10:00 PM and waking at 4:00–4:30 AM. Personally, using a group of people with a routine of this description might work as a control group to provide a comparison. Arguably, meditators work on their mental health and typically do not display the signs associated with sleep deprivation.
If this is the case, it may not be the lack of sleep contributing to the “effects of sleep deprivation” but the lack of meditation and mindfulness exposure. From reading the two studies from Wild et al. and Hirshkowitz et al., the initial questionnaire was missing, so I could not determine whether there was a question asking participants how much meditation each participant practised.
Participant Sleep Expectations
Having read many self-help and new age books, if belief drives a large part of our reality and how it unfolds, the question asking the participant about, “how much sleep do you believe you need” could provide insight into their paradigm. An article in the Science Daily titled “How expectation influences perception” talks about research by MIT Neuroscientists. Its study showed how if there’s an unknown factor, the responses by people and animals used a strategy of bias toward the middle range of responses (2019 Online). It’s a sort of Goldilocks approach; if you’re unsure of something, you err on the side of the middle because committing to an extreme position is riskier.
You’re probably thinking, “how does this apply to this argument?”. Excellent question. The research compiled would have used objective quantitative and qualitative data. The process was logical, the statistical method unquestionable, from what I know of statistics – which isn’t much – so I’m assuming it’s credible. The argument I have is regarding identifying the participant expectations on the number of hours they sleep and expect to sleep.
A book by Jane Roberts (not research), where it suggests, “there is a give-and-take chemical reaction, or rather chemical rhythms of relations, that are far more effective in the shorter sleep periods. Many of you sleep through periods that should be those of your greatest creativity and alertness, in which the conscious and unconscious are most beautifully focussed and at one. (1994, p.260)”. The recommendation for “shorter” sleep periods by Roberts is four to six hours instead of eight hours. Supplemented by naps when necessary, to be a maximum of two hours.
End
For my point, the majority of people’s minds are like that of an untrained five-year-old. When a five-year-old doesn’t get enough sleep, all those elements described as symptoms of sleep deprivation arise, except for hallucinations. The test of how much sleep an adult with an untrained mind or a mindfully trained adult might show that it’s not the lack of sleep, just the lack of mindfulness. Much like unused muscles atrophy, so too an unused/ untrained mind might atrophy.
Yes. I’m aware of the irony in the argument as I sit here complaining about my lack of sleep. 😃
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
Two cards carried over from yesterday; Guidance moved from Outcome to Goal, and The Source moved from Feelings to Recent Past position.
Analysis
The Master is in the Now position influenced by Ordinariness. Guidance sits in the Goal with Existence in the Distant Past. Recent Past has The Source card, which is making its second appearance. All of the cards mentioned lead to the Future Energy of Politics.
Ordinariness in the influence position over The Master is acting like a pane of glass. There is a subtle noticeability, but the fundamentals remain unchanged. The Master is, in this case, about the need for continual movement – keep on moving. To keep on moving, I need to seek Guidance.
Connecting to the universe as myself and simply being was Existence. By recently getting in touch with The Source and becoming The Master, I’ve needed to be diplomatic (Politics card) moving forward. The lack of sleep needs me to be on my guard when dealing with others on a sensitive issue.
Completion sits in the Feelings or Immediate Future position and suggests The Master energy I’m in is also an end to “something”, just not sure what yet.
Fighting is in Others’ Views. Perhaps I’m not disguising the sleeplessness as well as I’d hoped.
Hopes & Fears has the card of Breakthrough. Oh please! Let there be a Breakthrough (hope). Fear is that everything will remain the same.
Finally, Rebirth is in the Outcome position. Rebirth is also about continual movement and changes, even if you’re feeling down. It involves disconnecting from the ego to allow for growth.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Wild C., Nichols E., Battista, M.E., et al., 2018, Dissociable effects of self-reported daily sleep duration on high-level cognitive abilities, Oxford Academic, last viewed 9 May 2021
Healthline, 2019, quoting Wild’s research
Medical News Today, cites Hirshkowitz 2015 research
Worldometers, 2021, Current World Population, Online,
Hirshkowitz M. et al. 2015, National Sleep Foundation’s sleep time duration recommendations: methodology and results summary, ScienceDirect, Online
Sleep Health Journal, (quotes Hirshkowitz 2015 study), sorry – no link. Last viewed 8 May 2021
Roberts J. 1994 ISBN 1-878424-16-8, Amber-Allen Publishing and New World Library
End Day 128
Day 127 – Slowing Down instead of Postponing
7 May 2021
Context
Today, the context will be short and sweet because I’ve been contemplating slowing down, and how I will continue with the website. I dislike many things about advertising and socials and even companies who email me daily. It makes me conscious about how to relate the website to people. At present, any popularity it has gained has been from people being incredibly resourceful to find the website. Much to my luck. 😀
Don’t get me wrong, most of the emails are helpful. It’s just there’s so much, and a part of me hates that I can’t get to it all. There seems to be a subtle pressure associated with the volume like it triggers some guilt mechanism in my wiring to want to help. Help what, exactly?
There’s a choice. The choice to unsubscribe, subscribe and resubscribe from these sites exists. One of the YouTube channels (mojo.com) my husband has on has a lovely way of providing choice for subscriptions – occasional subscriptions or daily subscriptions. When I get time to learn how to do this, it’s where I’d like to go. Provide an opt-in choice without the feeling of being pressured.
Unsurprisingly, there’s also a lot of pressure for the company to expand. It’s not so much pressure, as it is motivation. The constant exposure for someone relying on their website to make a living means their message reaches as many of the right people as possible. I’m in the fortunate position to establish the website while holding a full-time job. Comparing myself to others isn’t beneficial.
Anyway, that’s what I was musing about today plus it was a good day. Another topic drifting across the brainwaves was the question of “what is spiritual?”. Since an answer hadn’t presented itself, this was not a topic for today’s blog
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There were no carry over cards from yesterday.
Analysis
Cross
Slowing Down is in the Now influenced by Conditioning. Postponement sits above both the cards in the Goal position. In the Distant Past sits Comparison with the Recent Past showing Totality. Finishing the cross in the Future Energy is the card of Maturity.
Over the past couple of days, it was clear that my body was signalling its need for downtime (Slowing Down). I was doing certain things for the website a certain way; it turns out it was more difficult and less effective. Breaking away from Conditioning was/ is challenging.
Sometimes it’s worth Slowing Down, but it’s crucial not to get swayed into Postponement. For those of you reading about the Postponement card for the first time, Osho begins his description of Postponement like this: “POSTPONEMENT IS SIMPLY STUPID.” (p. 125) – yes, it’s in capitals. Osho’s right. By postponing things at the moment, it would be like cutting my nose off to spite my face. Luckily, it’s in the Goal position, and I know about it and could have changed it had I read the cards earlier this morning.
Comparison in the Distant Past has probably led to the current situation of Slowing Down. I’ve likely compared myself to others and other websites and all the stuff you need to do to keep one going. Hence, recently been committing myself to both aspects of my life. It’s the requirement of Totality. But first, I need to sort out the new role at work. Once work has a clear direction, my headspace will free up.
From out of the fire of challenge comes growth and Maturity. Maturity is the reward for the culmination of effort expended to date.
Base
The Source is in the Feelings/ Immediate Future position. To reuse an analogy, The Source is the clay, and The Creator is its potter. By Slowing Down, I get an opportunity to revisit and assess the type of clay (material/s) used in the foundations.
Others’ Views has the Harmony card. To others, I look like I am in Harmony with my life’s purpose and goal – I wish it would feel like that on the inside.
On the inside, however, in the Hopes & Fears position is Thunderbolt. The fear of everything crumbling, shown by people falling from the tower, feels real and scary. Being based on my emotions means it’s not necessarily fact. Emotions are like the weather; you can’t have a day without weather, and just because it’s cloudy doesn’t mean it will rain. Reversing fear and looking at the hope aspect, I hope the shift to Slowing Down is a positive one.
Finally, Guidance is in the Outcome position. Well, all the cards are encouraging me to continue, even if it is at a slower pace.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
End Day 127
Day 126 – Performance Reviews (Updated)
6 May 2021
Context
Welcome to Day 126! Performance reviews happened almost immediately when I began working for a chicken-selling fast-food chain. Joan, who was the manager, provided feedback that sounded like: “get your ar*e moving young lady!” or, “you’re too slow” or, “where are the chips?” Chips were a big deal in my role as hostess.
Performance Reviews & Mystery Shoppers
The threat of a mystery shopper drove a manager’s performance. The mystery shopper/s appear at any time. The shopper would order something and then assess the quality of the order. The areas checked were store cleanliness, how long it took to serve, food quality, and hostess’ friendliness. In turn, managers managed and trained staff to do well in these areas. So, feedback and training on how you performed was quick.
The company had clear parameters for most aspects. If you were hostess greeted with, “Hello, how may I help you?” and a smile, performance was good. While you were placing the order, if the hostess followed up your request with, “would you like fries with that?” the hostess got a favourable mark in the upselling category. Feedback to the store on the areas of success, improvement, or failure determined the manager’s mood and discussion next time you were on shift.
To ensure the stores were ahead of the mystery shopper, managers would organise their own mystery shoppers. These shoppers came in the form of friends, visiting family, family, and friends of managers in other stores. I’m not sure whether there was a store budget for this self-assessment to maintain quality between corporate mystery shoppers.
Instant feedback is how I thought employee performance worked. If you made a mistake, you were told about it and told how to improve it at the same time. The Harvard Business School’s research article titled The Performance Management Revolution in 2016 has many elements used in 1981 by the fast-food company.
Corporate Performance Reviews
In the bank, reviews were a simple affair. You sat with the manager once a year; he/ she ticked a bunch of boxes, which worked like a report card. If you got an “A”, you were excellent, “C” was acceptable, and a couple of others suggesting improvement or underperformance. It seemed simple enough. Then you found out the bank only ever gave a “C” because it didn’t want you thinking you were good. Otherwise, you might leave the bank and work somewhere else.
The question I hated at performance review time was, “what do you want to do in X number of years?”. There was always a lot of pressure to strive to become the next bank chief executive officer. When you knew the expectation for everyone to want to go for that role was unrealistic.
At a structural engineering firm with 80+ employees, I received regular feedback from the lady in the office. If you weren’t doing your job correctly, feedback happened quickly in the office area. When working for a computer company, performance reviews determined your pay increase.
I can honestly say I don’t remember having a performance review when I was a contractor. The agency did, however, get a feedback form filled out after each contract to gauge performance. Again, if you didn’t do well, the feedback was immediate. Also, contracting was simple; if you did your job well, you got another job from the agency. If you didn’t, you weren’t a contractor for very long.
Government Performance Reviews
The biggest shock to the system was working for the government. By the time I had gotten my first government job, my confidence in my skillset was considerable. There had been many roles, and at each point rallied resources and smashed the job. It came as a shock when the supervisor printed everything I had worked on and sat me down to review them.
It was a week’s worth, and highlighted were the bits I’d gotten wrong. Correction highlighted the areas where I could improve next week. At first, I felt super bad because of the number of people inconvenienced by my mistakes. So bad, I cried. It was that whole, letting others down thing which made me feel terrible.
The supervisor patiently explained it wasn’t a criticism; it was to show the areas for improvement. Getting the feedback was great and, it was also an excellent example of instant feedback before waiting until the end of the contract to find out you sucked.
Performance Reviews Now
In my current role, I avoid performance reviews. It’s not because I don’t like performance reviews. It is just that performance reviews are complex and meaningless to me at present. My focus or philosophy is if I’m doing something wrong, just tell me,” and if I can fix it, I will.
Let’s see what the cards say!
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There were no carry over cards from yesterday.
Analysis
Cross
Morality in the Now is influenced by Exhaustion. The Playfulness card sits in the Goal position. I’m trying to do the right thing (Morality) by continuing to adhere to my goal of capturing 365 days of tarot. What I didn’t realise is it would take longer to write each night. Staying up until 1:30 AM every night is okay. However, when you’re fighting something off, it’s difficult to recover quickly (Exhaustion).
Exhaustion challenges Playfulness. In this case, Playfulness as a Goal is an accurate assessment of what I’d like to be doing. After all, “Girls just want to have fun!”.
Creativity is in the Distant Past; this is an easy one to address. Having the idea for the website was Creativity. This Creativity led me to the current predicament of Morality, which has led to bouts of Exhaustion.
The Aloneness card is in the Recent Past position is the time of night spent alone. Note that this does not mean I’m lonely, just alone.
In the Future Energy position is the card of Turning In. Turning In is about doing Performance Reviews for myself and assessing what I am trying to achieve. It might require reducing the Context area of the blog.
Base
My Feelings about being torn between giving up how I like to write the blog at the expense of sleep is why the Stress card appeared.
Others’ Views has the card of Adventure. The Adventure card, according to Osho is about, “entering the unknown with the trusting spirit of a child, innocent and open and vulnerable, even the smallest things in life can become the greatest adventure.” (Osho, p. 78). Guess others might see me jumping onto the website adventure, unaware of the pitfalls ahead.
In the Hopes & Fears position is the card of No-thingness. I usually describe the No-thingness card as the card of potential. In the Hopes & Fears spot, the card takes on a different perspective. The fear is the blankness and the unknown. When the card acts for hope, it means wanting to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Finally, it’s the card of Rebirth in the Outcome position. Because of my inner conflict, I cannot interpret the type of Rebirth implied. So, I turned to Osho. My eyes landed on the following sentence, “[w]haterever the space you’re in right now – sleepy and depressed, or roaring and rebellious – be aware that it will evolve into something new if you allow it. It is a time of growth and change (Osho, p. 136). It seems apt.
For a day that seemed focussed on performance reviews, the cards focussed on something else entirely.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Cappelli, P. & Tavis, A. 2016, The Performance Management Revolution. The focus is shifting from accountability to learning. Harvard Business Review, Last viewed 6 May 2021
End Day 126
Day 125 – Unexpected Topic with My Mum
5 May 2021
Context
Day 125 – Unexpected Topic with My Mum
Most of Day 125 went by without a hitch. The little ginger cat, the rascal, managed to sneak out an open door 🙂. Then later in the day my mother called. During the discussion, an unexpected topic with my mum arose – older people’s sex lives! Yes, it happens. Did I think, as I got older, it wouldn’t happen? No. After all, I’m older. I’ve also been preparing myself to accept and acknowledge older people have sex.
Talking about sex lives, isn’t necessarily an unexpected topic nor is it offensive, but when you’re in the middle of a TV show relaxing and you get a phone call about a computer question you don’t expect it to veer into my mother’s friends sex lives.
Over the years, sex was and still is a topic of interest, discussion, and concern. Using the three phases of Triune or Triple Goddess (The Maiden, Mother and Crone) to highlight the different stages of a woman’s sexual change. The change is, of course, related to the hormonal shifts in a woman’s life. The most fascinating and unexpected topic to have discussed with my mum in my younger years would have been the aging process of sex.
Ah… forget it! It would never have happened, because being the version of the goddess before my mother, puts a different perspective on things. The older person knows, or at least can identify intimately or experientially, with aspects of the younger person’s situation. Whereas it is impossible for the younger person to know the feeling of being older, even if their maturity is developed enough to get the concept.
The Unexpected Topic
During the discussion, it became obvious two of my mother’s friends were still quite sexually active. This to me, while my husband mentioned the nursing homes are full of sexual activity, and therefore older people having sex is unsurprising.
The unanticipated matter doesn’t correlate with conversations I’ve had with various friends (mostly female/ some male) saying that sex was over-rated. It may seem this is due to menopause in the women and potentially the men with unusually high levels of estrogen in their bodies when they were younger. The loss of estrogen contributes to the lowering of libido (Harvard 2017).
I’ve noticed a drop even in myself, the drive for sexual activity has decreased – but not gone. Could the variance in sexual activity I’m hearing about in nursing homes and the comments of friends over the years be a generational thing? Or is it an age thing? Is it the belief that sex and love are one and the same thing? Either way, it’s too big a topic to cover in this post.
Mum’s Topic Twist
The most unexpected element of the discussion was on the one hand, my mother has a friend who appears to be a free-spirit when it comes to sexual morals (they’re in the 80s – to my mind they’ve earnt the right to be freer with them. Providing, of course, it’s between willing and consenting adults). On the other hand, she has a friend who is in an open marriage arrangement who would like to meet the other friend. You know, to … get it on.
Both my mother’s friends I know only through my mother’s conversations. What I don’t know is whether they ARE in open-style relationships. This is because, I’m unsure, whether my mother agrees with them. I suspect she might be okay with them. It’s more the FOMO (fear of missing out) aspect which is likely to prevent the two ever meeting through my mother.
Both parties are unreliable when asked to attend social events. Organising anything would be a headache for the organiser. Plus, my mum argues, if things don’t work out between the two, she may lose both friends. She’s not prepared to risk it, so they can have a dalliance. The two parties’ reliability could prove the undoing, especially since neither view themselves as unreliable.
Now the unexpected point that I got from the discussion with my mum was, nothing has really changed since the school yard!
Other stuff
I’ve decided that I need to get back to exercising and meditating. This means something must give. Perhaps this will mean that I need to get stricter with myself when it comes to writing the blogs. It may even mean, on occasion there will be a couple of dot points in lieu of a large “Context”.
Let’s see what the cards have to say!
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
New Vision was the only card to carry over, it moved from Feelings into Hopes & Fears.
Analysis
The Burden influences Control which is in the Now position. Makes sense, I’m trying to wrest back some Control in my life by exercising and meditating and sadly this makes writing the blog at times, The Burden.
In the Goal position is Integration. Integration is exactly what I would like to do with exercise and meditation.
Distant Past position has Clinging to the Past. Clinging to the Past not letting other activities go is contributing to the Now.
In the Recent Past is Completion. Completion is probably referring to the relatively finished healing of what was my broken ankle. Only today, did I feel there weren’t many “pain” areas left, what remains is a bit of stiffness but there are no more seven or eight level pain aspects to the ankle, when stretching.
Future Energy holds the card of Maturity. This means looking at the options available to me and working how best to incorporate it into my daily routine. Alternatively, the blog may simply be the analysis expanded to apply to the relevant areas of my day.
The Feelings or Immediate Future position has the card of Understanding. Understanding is simply identifying the areas holding me back from integrating all the aspects I need to fulfil a work-life balance.
Others’ Views has The Dream card. Suggesting others probably know me better than I know myself and I’m unlikely (dreaming) to let stuff go because I want it all!
Hopes & Fears has the New Vision card which has carried over from yesterday’s Feelings position. New Vision has become my “yoga” card since Day 122 Doggy Yoga reading. Since, yoga is my preferred form of exercise, my hope is to be able to get time to get to it. My fear is the time is consumed by other activities. Coming from the Feelings position fits in nicely with the Hopes & Fears, since these too are feelings.
Receptivity is in the Outcome position. Indicating Maturity and Receptivity to a new approach may be the answer I’m looking for to meet my goal.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Wiginton, P. Jan 2019, The Triple Goddess: Maiden, Mother and Crone, Learning Religions website, last viewed 6 May 2021
Harvard, 2017, Yes, you can have better sex in midlife and in the years beyond, Harvard Women’s Health Watch, last viewed 6 May 2021
End Day 125
Day 124 – May the 4th be with You (Updated)
4 May 2021
Context
Day 124 – May the 4th be with You
Welcome to May the 4th and it is Star Wars day! So, May the 4th be with You! Who would have thought back in 1977, a sci-fi movie would hang around so long? Not me. However, I have a confession to make. Star Wars came out when I was in anti-hype mode and said stuff like, “you’re only going to see the movie because of the hype! You sheep.”. Yeah, that’s right I was on the dark side and I didn’t know it.
Eventually, I did watch Star Wars. Yes. All of them! Even the Mandalorian series – which incidentally is my favourite part of the Star Wars film universe to-date. The movies are nice and all but I’m not that “into Star Wars”. If you asked me what parts of the Mandalorian series gave a nod to the Star Wars films, I would be clueless.
My ignorance and lack of Star Wars culture asides, what does, “may the force be with you mean?”. Obviously, if you’ve watched the movies, you get the force being a single energy source powering the universe. It’s only the mindset and intentions of the wielder which changes how it’s used.
The force, then, is simply a resource to be tapped into with mindfulness and meditation. A lot of elements are very Buddhist seeming from my point-of-view. Those proficient in mindfulness are constantly connected to the force – Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, for instance.
Anyway, it’s incredibly clever using the fourth of May for Star Wars day. Would the phrase have taken off in Australia, if Australia weren’t flexible and exposed to the date being read with the month at the front? The saying just rolls off the tongue, “may the 4th be with you”! So cute.
My Mother
My anti “everything” started because of being an early adolescent female, who had a father who played mind games. The avenue chosen to prove I was an independent thinking female was to have a different point-of-view to everyone else. In hindsight, this was akin to isolating myself socially. Later, it worked out he simply thought that women didn’t think for themselves when a man was around. So, no matter the stance I took, he believed it was someone else’s view.
The reason he and my mother had issues during their divorce, was at some point she proved she was clever. Many a time in years since the divorce, when I was testing my self-control and he and I spoke, he mentioned how incredibly cunning my mother was. Incredibly smart – even there he thought it might have been the male solicitors/ lawyers. My mother’s comment has always been, “I just told the truth”.
Mum’s interpretation, however, of what is being asked can sometimes come askew in the translation. My mother has a determined mindset and an innocent adherence to a path which can come across as controlling in its own way. Nonetheless, if you asked my mother something in all genuineness it could get misinterpreted, but the response would still be right. To be clear, it’s never a lie.
There’s no intention to deceive. It’s because of this lack of deceptive intention, she could get away with things another person would either feel self-conscious about or get caught out on. My father was almost the complete opposite. He feigned innocence but even when he was it didn’t usually work for him. It’s the few occasions where it worked that kept him repeating the tactic.
Pre-1977 - My Father
For instance, during my parents’ divorce my father hid some money from the courts by putting payments against the home loan as term deposits. Now, I don’t fully understand how this worked. My guess is the money could only be touched by my father, my sister or me.
Since the term deposits were acting, like collateral for the loan bound with a caveat on the title, he felt assured the only people who could access the money was him, my sister or me. At the time my sister was eight and I was twelve, the money was safely tucked away he thought for 40 years, when the home loan finalised.
What my father hadn’t counted on was for term deposits requiring renewal. Also, home’s equity increases, over time too. Hence, no longer requiring the collateral of the term deposits or the caveat which bound them to the title deed. My guess is the term deposits were locked in for a period of three to five years. By that time, my mother had received legal guardianship over us, and we were living in the home the money was held against.
So, when the terms were up the bank sent a letter to my sister and me asking what we wanted to do with the money and the associated interest. I vaguely remember sitting in the living room and my mum explaining the money had come from a term deposit my dad had put in our names. She also advised, if we wanted to keep the money we could, and she would not take it from us.
As an eleven going on twelve-year-old, I didn’t have a job or a job history. It didn’t take a child genius to work out the money wasn’t really mine. We didn’t get pocket money at the time. The choice was, if it came from the home loan it should just go back onto the home loan. Simplistic thinking.
Maybe it was all those years of mum going, “where did you get that from?”, and the response being, “fridge/ cupboard/ bathroom/ outside”. To which the reply would be something like, “if you got it from there, then put it back where you found it”. Dispensing this wisdom like parents everywhere and throughout time.
When, years later I mentioned to my father the house had been paid off and the title deed was in my mother’s name, he declared it to be impossible. He questioned where the money and the caveat had gone. It was with pleasure he was informed of what had happened to the money and caveat. He didn’t believe it, coming from me (being female). Hey, he still believed he owned the house and let us live in it because he had a kind hear. Not the court awarding the house to our mother in lieu of missing child support.
Other stuff
Work: Work went well, was feeling quite successful in terms of getting myself organised. You get those days, where you can’t do another thing unless you get stuff sorted – or is that just me? Also, tackling a problem using a different approach but making it look like something familiar. If it’s too radical, it falls into the category of crazy and it dies before it gets a chance to live.
Cats: We dragged out a cat tunnel which we’d put away for a while, it was pure joy just to watch them play like they were kittens again.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There’s only the one carry over card from yesterday, Completion has moved from being an influence to occupying the Recent Past.
Analysis
The Fool in the Now position is influenced by Friendliness. The Goal is Laziness. Laziness is the point where you can relax. If Laziness is being at the top of the mountain too long, then the point I want to strive for is the moment when you just arrive. It’s when the relaxing is in front of you, not the hanging on too long pushing the limits of making it down the mountain before daylight is lost.
Looking at my day, The Fool could be the getting organised at work while relying on the achievements to-date to enable me to do the organising. Using Friendliness, I was able to move a couple of activities until later (Laziness is definitely being influenced by Friendliness here).
In the Distant Past position is the card of Flowering. Flowering has happened and is a pre-cursor to Laziness. It’s probably when I’d managed to get a couple of runs on the board. Time moves quickly in short weeks and those accomplishments can lose some of their lustre.
Creativity is in the Recent Past position. One of the activities which was distracting me was planning for an upcoming event I’m facilitating. The planning was taking longer than expected because of its complexity. Hopefully, the extra time will pay off – if I haven’t overbaked it 😀. Other things, unfortunately, slipped a little.
The Rebel in the Future Energy position and The Fool in the Now coming from a basis of recent Creativity hmmm … This usually spells hanging out on a limb and doing something different to the norm. Again, it is probably the planning. Not that the planning is unique, it is different in that the agenda is visual. A case of show what you mean don’t tell.
Breaking into the next step of evolution is new territory, and a natural evolution from what the organisation has been doing. The Rebel, in this context, is simply doing things based on his inner light; it’s not necessarily about bucking any system.
My Feelings position, toward the slightly different approach is me being open to new ideas from within. In a sense this is echoing The Rebel card in the Future Energy position.
Others’ Views position has the card of Possibilities. Sharing the new approach with other team members has fostered some excitement and maybe opened some Possibilities for them too.
In the Hopes & Fears position is The Miser. Sometimes, I get possessive over my ideas, mainly because every now and again it would be nice to receive acknowledgement for the idea. Although, I don’t really know what kind of acknowledgement I’m after. After all I hope people want to use it. I’m happy if the idea gets used and will share knowledge of it easily and readily – and over exuberantly at times 😏. The fear is in the losing control and thus being The Miser (inwardly).
Ordinariness is in the Outcome position. You know I love this card. It’s the card without stress, without too much excitement and fanfare. The card representing, in my mind Mother Theresa, the saint of small things.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Star Wars Day, Wikipedia, last viewed 5 May 2021
- Star Wars Franchise, Wikipedia, last viewed, 5 May 2021
End Day 124
Day 123 – Killing Buddha
3 May 2021
Context
The quote “if you meet the buddha” kept popping into my head today, that’s later. It started with we’re back from a wonderful weekend, I was relaxed and feeling very cruisy. It was a moment-to-moment adventure as I tuned into where the day needed to take me. This meant we lunched in a fast-food restaurant, which is incredibly rare, but the mood just felt right. Let’s just say, the kilojoule count was high. Maybe I was on the way to becoming a buddha!
Today, it didn’t matter – it just felt in the moment. There are times when being in the moment is more difficult than others, today it was easy. Anyway, while my husband was waiting for the food to be made, I was able to take a moment and sink totally into the now.
There had been a lot of late nights and while I love visiting my friend, sleeping at her place is a struggle because I respond to the foxie’s need to join us in the bed. We sleep with the door closed, with me slipping into a light sleep state more often than my husband, it’s me who gets up to let the dog in and out.
So, there was the chance sleep deprivation was contributing to the slightly dreamy state. In this dreamy state, I felt connected to everything. The road, the traffic noise, the noise of the children in the play area of the restaurant. Everything around me had a crispness to it and all the while conscious of my breathing and my heartbeat. The way my teeth were sitting, the tongue’s position the saliva build-up and swallow, toe, and finger positions. Connected.
Earlier in the day we spoke of what “killing Buddha” really means. The quote, “if you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him” is, of course, metaphorical. There are various interpretations depending upon the source. In verifying my memory of the quote, there was an Abstract by Michael Jerryson which provoked my curiosity; Jerryson writes, “[t]he statement deliberately confounds people and is meant to jolt them from complacent ways of thinking”. It’s an article, I hope to get back to read just to see where the paper leads. For now, I will refrain from pursing it further in the interests of keeping my thoughts to the memory of earlier today.
The statement doesn’t confound me, except in its cleverness. Here goes my attempt at conveying what it means to me. First, the analogy. Think of everyone’s destiny as a room, house, or bed. When you and a friend decide to visit a centrally located restaurant to catch up. Your friend knows the area as he’s been there before but you’re new and unfamiliar with the location.
The end of the night arrives and you both need to head home. Your friend offers to drive you to a drop off point near the freeway, he’ll point the direction you’re meant to go, and he’ll loop back and head toward his place. Once you’re on the freeway it should be familiar, and you can take it from there.
So, your friend drives you to the drop off point but just at the point off moment, something happens and suddenly you’re unsure of whether you interpreted your friend’s pointing correctly. The safety you felt in following his path now needs to change. You doubt yourself. You’re unsure whether you’re on the right path to your home or whether you read the queue correctly. You thought saw it, but …
In the analogy, you could try and catch-up with your friend because you saw which way he went. In the end, you’d just wind up at his house maybe a little red-faced. If you didn’t want to end up red-faced and realised early enough, you could head off down a side street and wind up more lost than before. You’d still be red-faced but at least you’re the only one to know it but you’re also miserable because you’re still not home.
To put analogy against the metaphor, imagine the friend in the analogy is Buddha. Buddha knows where he lives, following after the drop off point doesn’t get you to your destination. It gets you to his destination, but you don’t have a key to get into his house.
Put simply, “killing Buddha on the road” is the moment when you part ways. You can only follow the teachings of great masters or wisemen so far, after that point you’re on your own. Yours and everyone else’s uniqueness requires it. There is no one in time like you nor will there be, it only makes sense then that your destinies are going to be different.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Analysis
Carry Over Cards
There were no carry over cards from yesterday.
Analysis
Completion influences Stress which is in the Now position. Completion over Stress, if rephrased is “end of stress” or nearing the end of it in any case. This reflects the “relaxing” weekend I’d returned from. As does the Goal position occupied by the Moment to Moment card. Think I may have mentioned being in the moment once or twice .
In the Distant Past is the card of Patience. This will have been the waiting for the best COVID safe time to catch up. Patience led to the Recent Past of Beyond Illusion. Beyond Illusion being the moment coming out of the cocoon. Possibly the freedom of moving about on my ankle and revisiting “the” spot which has been a while in the making. Revisited, no trauma – happy!
The Future Energy card is Experiencing. Experiencing is certainly what today was all about – just tuning in to everything around me.
Awareness is in the Feelings/ Immediate Future position and it couldn’t be more in sync with the mood of the day. Hmmm… I wonder could the cards be more responsive because I’m more aware and responsive?
Others’ Views is the card of Projections. Possibly meaning I’m getting back from the experience what I’m projecting onto it. Could be. Could be. Nonetheless, I’m happy either way.
In the Hopes & Fears position is The Source card. The Source is about getting back to the inner me, the me that I want to be. It’s certainly true of being a hope of mine. Not having it and misunderstanding it is the fear.
Transformation is in the Outcome position. Wow! Today I felt the shift. My experience at lunch time changed me somehow. Just not sure how but I’ll be looking at things differently without knowing exactly why.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
Jerryson, M. 2018, If You Meet the Buddha on the Road: Buddhism, Politics, and Violence, Oxford Scholarship Online (March 2018), Print ISBN-13: 9780190683566, last viewed 5 May 2021
End Day 123
Day 122 – Dog Yoga, Keys and My Fall
2 May 2021
Dog Yoga Context
Following advice from my doctor, I searched for yoga routines to increase bone health. On Day 119, the Yoga Journal pointed to a 12-minute workout that would help strengthen bone health. Today was the first opportunity to try out the 12-minute routine, which ended up becoming dog yoga. Nothing like goat yoga; this was an impromptu assault.
Michelle’s place had some space, and while everyone sat in the day bed area, I occupied the lounge-dining room. These exercises usually are a challenge at home as either one or both cats decide the yoga mat is where they want to be while I’m exercising on it.
Dog Yoga Sensei
The exercises began with Tree Pose, which was easy enough. Standing on the left leg was easy, and as expected, the right leg was shaky. The exercises continued with various standing, stretching exercises, among them warrior two and side extensions. For these exercises, the resident canines decided to visit me during the routines. My yoga workout became dog yoga.
Ever so helpful, jumping onto me to ensure my stances were stable . Fortunately, both dogs are little; one is a fox terrier, and the other is Shih Tzu. After checking my stability, both dogs checked their other humans in the day bed area, and I thought that would be the end of their assistance and dog yoga.
A few moments later, this was going to be proven a false assumption. For the floor exercises, I used a small section of the rug as my yoga mat. No sooner had I commenced Locust Pose when a fox terrier was on my back while the Shih Tzu wanted to provide supportive kisses. This assistance took me by surprise, and the integrity of the Locust pose fell apart from my giggles. Yes. Giggles 🙃.
Then it came time to do the Bridge pose. There was a guard change, now the Shih Tsu was lying under the hips, and the foxy wanted to provide kisses (ew?). Unlike the Locust pose, the Bridge I had to hold, or there would be a squashed Shih Tzu. The dog yoga sensei was serious about my practice. No more laughing; it was time to get serious. Once again, the dogs provided quality assurance and integrity for the duration of the pose. Amazing how animals know to keep you honest. Animal sense is my guess! It was all so incredibly cute … aw…
Revisiting the Scene of My Fall
After dog yoga, we went to lunch at the Twin Towns Club, next to where I broke my ankle back on Day 018, January. Back then, it was raining, and the tide was lapping at the steps making the algae on them wet.
It’s incredible how innocent the place can look when it’s not raining, and I’m not in pain on one of the steps. After my fall, I had contacted the council saying some signs warning people the steps could get slippery when wet would be a minimum. Some anti-slip “pimples” would also help. It’s not like anyone would be doing dog yoga on the stairs, even if they are wide enough.
The council did put or had a warning sign; however, it wasn’t evident. My husband and I also suspected the warning might have been there when I slipped. As I said, it’s still not obvious, and when heading toward the “slippery when wet” steps from any angle but in front of the sign, you wouldn’t even notice it. The warning was below the eye line. Nonetheless, the stairs were algae free, so some cleaning activities have occurred.
Today the weather was sunny (or at least when we were there), and the tide was out. The step I slipped on looked incredibly innocent and had the look of “no-one would slip on me look”. With the step being dry, it was easy to walk on, although I did shy away from stepping on that step in that place. You know the saying, “once bitten, twice shy”.
On the whole, revisiting the area wasn’t anything significant. There was no trauma to speak of and no repressed memory or shocking insight. It was very much like visiting a nightclub during the day – meh. Anyone for more dog yoga?
Back to Dog Yoga Home
The longer than 12-minute routine, thanks to dog yoga assistants, wasn’t the only exciting thing to happen. When heading out to lunch and revisiting the “scene of my accident”, my husband locked the second lock on the front door. That’s the one next to the deadbolt.
You see, there’s the deadbolt, and then there’s the original doorknob. The original doorknob has a small barrel turner in the centre of the back that you twist and pull the door shut. Unbeknownst to him, this doorknob does not have a key on any of the car key sets. Usually, with the screen security door and the deadbolt, the gate doesn’t get locked unless they travel.
With the dogs barking at the window and the gate and no amount of dog yoga (yoga by dogs, in this case) would get us in without a key. We needed to find an entry. Fortunately, the key to an always-locked door was a forgotten key on an owner’s keyring, and it saved the day. There wasn’t talk of getting a locksmith yet, but we would need one if we hadn’t gotten lucky.
Today's Cards
The Cards - Dog Yoga Analysis
Carryover Cards
Only one card carried over from yesterday, and the day before; The Miser stayed in Hopes & Fears.
Cross
The Master influences Existence which is in the Now position. Existence is about being one with yourself and the universe. The Master is about being an “untouchable” who is free of desire for material possessions. Perhaps me just doing the dog yoga what this is all about. I was experiencing Existence and just being myself, and the dogs were being The Master/s exhibiting nothing but themselves.
Ripeness is in the Goal position. The Goal was to find the right time to perform the yoga workout. From today’s context, I found the moment.
It comes from a decision in the past, possibly when we agreed to visit Michelle – visiting is always a joy. The dog yoga made it extra special. Hence, the choice or judgment in the Distant Past for Slowing Down.
In the Recent Past is the card of Letting Go. My Letting Go may have something to do about the potential “fears” of revisiting the scene of the broken ankle accident or the fear of COVID restrictions occurring at a moment’s notice.
Future Energy has the card of Sharing. Sharing is the resulting energy from bonding with the universe during dog yoga and being allowed to be yourself and accepted for it. Generosity, sharing, and love breed themselves and everyone benefits.
Base
As for the Feelings position today, it is occupied by the card of Silence. The Silence card in the layout is an extension or echo of the Existence card. It’s when the noise inside your head stops, and there’s the moment of blissful silence. It’s what I enjoy about yoga, or today during dog yoga.
The Others’ Views position has the card of New Vision. The person on the card looks like they’re doing a yoga pose, so just from a visual perspective of how others saw me today, this card relates. New Vision is about opening up to the universe and connecting to it. It’s possible others saw me in this light while I was doing yoga.
The Hopes & Fears position is the complete antithesis of everything else in the cards to this moment, and that is the card of The Miser. I hoped to maintain the state of unity, sharing and Silence. The fear comes from trying to hold on to it, and like sand in your hand, the tighter you try to hold it, the more it slips away.
And finally, the Outcome position displays the fear’s evolution manifested, Clinging to the Past. After such beautiful moments, like dog yoga, it is natural to want to hold on to them, yet as mentioned in Hopes & Fears, trying to hold on only sees it disappear faster.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- 2017, Goldman L., The 12-minute Yoga Sequence for Strong Bones, Routine, Yoga Journal, Last viewed Saturday 1 May 2021 Online
End Day 122
Day 121 – Comfortable Friends
1 May 2021
Comfortable Friend Context
Grabbing an opportunity amid easing COVID restrictions, we caught up with comfortable friends. An AFL game brings out the best & worst.
It’s Saturday, and in Queensland, it’s a long weekend. Labour Day is celebrated in Queensland on the first Monday of May 1912 since 1912, when the eight-hour working day came into its inception. The eight-hour day was about breaking the day into three parts: work, recreation, and rest (sleep).
Celebrating Labour Day meant we could visit my friend, Michelle. COVID restrictions in some form or another had prevented us from catching up since 2020. At present, we’re free from most COVID constraints, and we took the opportunity to head her way and catch up.
Long Time, No See
It was wonderful seeing my friend again. You know, every time I write those words “see my friend again”, I think of the movie Shawshank Redemption (1994). In this context, it has even more meaning as Michelle, and I have a fondness for the film. We’ve been comfortable friends for many years.
Anyway, the Shawshank Redemption is well written and directed; and it’s challenging to go past this movie as my number one recommendation for people to watch. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favour and find a legal link and watch it.
Another thing that reminds me of friendship or inspires me to maintain some of the friend connections – although I’m really quite rubbish at connecting if they’re not in my immediate view. Luckily, my friends are like this too, and we pretty much where we left off when we see each other again. If too long a time happens, it takes a bit catching up like Betty, and you drift apart. The time apart hasn’t changed most times, and the nature of the relationship simply picks up where it left off.
Michelle and I have known each other for a long time; we’re almost sisters. Michelle was there when my younger sister wasn’t old enough to be there, and that creates a bond of its own. We’re comfortable friends simply being in each other’s presence without the need for discussion. Of course, if we’ve spent time apart and the catch-up time is short, there isn’t much opportunity to enjoy silent companionship.
Comfortable Friends and The Game
One of my challenges today was the playful competitiveness between her husband’s AFL team and mine. While he and I get along, I’m unsure if we’re at the comfortable friend stage yet. He supports Geelong, and I support Sydney. Geelong is in great shape and has managed their players well not to drop out of the top eight (the top eight go to the “finals”). Playing finals gives your team the ultimate victory. Sydney, on the other hand, has injuries to key players.
Sydney is playing some great footy (AFL), but they’re a young team, and youngsters make mistakes and get injured as a realistic supporter. Up against a more experienced side like Geelong, Sydney was unlikely to win.
Yet, win, they did. Unfortunately, the win got marred by a couple of controversial decisions made in the game’s dying seconds. There was a Geelong unpaid mark where Jeremy Cameron, the story is in The Age.
Michelle’s husband was a tremendously good sport throughout the game, too. If the result had been the reverse, I think I would’ve cried “robbed” at every moment (even though I would have been secretly happy Sydney was competitive). Stu handled the loss with good grace, and I’d say I’m confident we’re becoming comfortable friends.
Before I published the post, I looked up news articles and found the AFL had issued an apology to Geelong for the calls. At least that much.
Even though I am glad for the Swans to win, it’s not the way I’d like the win to happen.
Let’s see what the cards have to say!
Today's Cards
The Cards - Comfortable Friend Analysis
Carryover Cards
Two cards carried over from yesterday: Inner Voice moved from Distant Past to Others’ Views, and The Miser moved from Future Energy to Hopes & Fears.
Cross
Awareness is in the Influence position and sits over The Rebel, who is in the Now position. Awareness is like waking up from a dreaming state. The Rebel is about the strong direction and male energy, and a unique approach. In this case, I think it might be referring to my friend’s husband’s team’s loss. The Awareness in me is about realising his excellent sportsmanship.
No-thingness is in the Goal position, with Harmony forming its basis in the Distant Past. Indicating our past Harmony would benefit the unknown outcome. You see, before this occasion, I was unsure how our watching our teams play each other would pan out. Hence, the Goal of No-thingness. No-thingness is representing, in this case, the “unknown”.
The Recent Past position showed both he and I were receptive to (based on the foundations of Distant Past) working with each other in Harmony. This Receptivity allowed for the Future Energy to become Comparison. Under the circumstances, Comparison is a positive sign for growth. The Comparison between Stu’s handling of the situation provided me with an inspiration model.
Base
In Feelings/ Immediate Future position is the card of Maturity. Overall, I felt I handled the situation quite well and was surprised by how sympathetic I felt towards Stu.
Others’ Views were seeing a connection by me to my Inner Voice.
Hopes & Fears has The Miser, which has moved from the Future Energy position to becoming today’s Hope & Fears. It’s a neat transition as Future Energy can take the form of Hopes & Fears. Selfishly, I cling to the hope the decision does not have future repercussions for our teams. Both teams are side by side on the competition ladder at the moment. By extension, my fear is the impact later in the competition, spoiling any potential victory there for the taking.
Finally, Understanding is in the Outcome position. One of the reasons I enjoyed the AFL compared to other “footballs” is the ease with which teams handed over the ball. For me, this indicated great sportsmanship on display (later, I found out there was a penalising rule for not handing the ball over immediately). The ball was simply handed over without fuss, fanfare, or griping. Children watching the sport learn to let go if something doesn’t go their way. This positive conditioning was on display today with my friend’s husband’s behaviour.
The incident also helped me gain a better understanding of the person my friend married.
References
- Osho, Osho Zen Tarot – The Transcendental Game of Zen, St Martin’s Press, ISBN 0-312-11733-7
- Queensland Labour Day, https://www.qt.com.au/news/significance-labor-day-queensland/4008328/, last viewed 4 May 2021
- Luhrman B. 1997, Everybody’s free (to wear sunscreen) (aka The Sunscreen Song), Youtube, last viewed 4 May 2021
- Luhrman B, 1999, Everybody’s free (to wear sunscreen) aka The Sunscreen Song – remix Youtube with links to Sunscreen research for and against, last viewed 4 May 2021